The Aesthete celebrates the Trump ascendancy

The Aesthete's Fleet

Well, what can you do but enjoy the terrible spectacle of the American election? I felt so defiled that I made a generous donation to the Guardian, the only news organisation that I could rely on to support my increasingly outdated world view.  This week's selection is what we should all be seen driving in Trumplandia lest we be subject to random street violence and instant deportation.
On the positive side, the Petrolhead Aesthete's inaugural dinner at Cucina was excellent. Wild and lengthy lies were told but Andrew came along with photographic evidence of his many rash purchases. I was just getting my filing cabinet out of the Alfa when everyone had to leave.

1979 Lincoln Continental Mark V. What could be more tasteful than a white on white Lincoln Mk V unless it be one of those terrific Town Cars built on a Ford Pinto frame that looked like it had the middle third cut out? At least the Mk V was a 'full size luxury car', not a child's drawing of one. I am particularly taken by the plastic burl walnut instrument surround that looks like one of those novelty cigarette dispensers your uncle Jack kept his cheroots in.

For: Just the thing for a weekend at Loofs Lite-A-Line casino.
Against: Nothing that could not be solved by putting a cap into anyone who laughs.
Investment potential: Declare bankruptcy now.

1967 Jaguar 420G. The Coventry product planners were caught out by American preferences when it came to selling the gargantuan Mk10/420G series Jaguars. Most buyers saw the brand as producers of small and nimble high performance saloons and could not see the sense of something as vast as a Cadillac. Meanwhile, owners of mews garages in London had to knock two into one to get them off the street.

For: You could live in it when the economy tanks.
Against: Put up some cheap partitions and sublet.
Investment potential: $340 per week, partly furnished. No pets.

1972 Volvo 164. One suspects the otherwise priestly Jan Wilsgaard might have been holding his nose when Americanising Volvo's excellent 140 series with a big lazy six and a pretentious grill. Abandoning sensible Swedish austerity also meant a trip into the dark plastic forest in search of dash materials, all the teak stocks having been wasted on furniture.

For: Volvo is Latin for 'I roll'. Best classical name for a car ever.
Against: Like fondue, perhaps best left in the 1970s.
Investment potential: Like Krone in the bank, not.

1942 Chevrolet Fleetline Aerosedan. All this abnegation must be relieved  by something that I actually like rather than look down my nose at and these GM fastback sedans of the 1940s are amongst my favourite things. They were not immune to trumpery, having an ingeniously hand grained metal dash but we can overlook it because it is charming.

For: Slow but relaxing.
Against: Nothing. It is perfect.
Investment potential. Trump will get that pipeline built and the gas will flow forever.

1979 Lincoln Town Car. The bewildered vendor does not understand why bidders are not rushing forward to pay 11.5K for his Lincoln Town Car so I will try and explain. No one fails to grasp irony like the owner of a Lincoln Town Car. Not all Americans, mind. Just the owners of Lincoln Town cars..

For. Nothing. Probably the worst car ever made.
Against: Is that not enough?
Investment potential. Better than shares in Trump University.

On some faraway beach...

1955 Arnolt MG. I have put this on for Andrew Fletcher who I know will get it at once. He mentioned that he was looking for a project although whether he will want to start at 50K and then ship it from Blighty who knows. It would have made a lovely bookend for his Farina bodied Jowett Jupiter, alas now also resident in that very sceptred isle.

For: All praise Wacky Arnolt, an American car dealer with style.
Against: Still an MG TC underneath.
Investment potential: Oh, stupendous I would think.