The Aesthete offends the gods again.

The Aestheet's Fleet
Ackermann, the steering geometry god, smote the Jeep as we were on our way to Christchurch to collect the GTV parts car. This angry deity caused the steering damper to fall off just as we entered a cell phone dead spot north of Oamaru. We were towing a car trailer so the Jeep went on that instead of the Alfa and we spent the afternoon with a farmer who let us use the landline to call International Rescue. Before Virgil arrived in Thunderbird 2 we were served coffee and fresh pikelettes while playing games with their children. You can put your faith in people but the car gods are just plain fickle. 

1973 Peugeot 304 Convertible. Zut alors! Those prongs on Top Gear were making fun of just such a car only last week and this must be one of only a handful either there or here. Pininfarina carried out their usual magic on the 204/304 which had a gearbox in sump arrangement like a Mini but with an overhead cam motor, making the nose rather Charles De Gaulle-like. Comfortable and smooth like all Peugeots, this would be just the thing to take down to the lake for rosé and a baguette come summer.

For: Trés charmant.
Against. You do not live near a lake? You will need a better reason that that.
Investment potential: Spirited bidding already so the Francophiles are already onto it. 7/10

1953 Kaiser Manhattan. Having nursed fantasies about Kaisers for much of my adult life, I was surprised to see the object of my obsession right here in Dunedin. These Futurama influenced streamliners are unutterably elegant, from the dip in the roofline over the centre of the screen to the chrome script on the trunk (sorry, boot will just not do here). The bamboo textured interior is enough to make the Aesthete writhe with acquisitive urgings but we will leave it there.

For: I need a cold shower.
Against: Yes, I know. I must pull myself together.
Investment potential. 12/10

1963 Cheetah Replica. Well, you cannot say it lacks for drama. With gull wing doors and the driver's seat almost over the rear axle the Cheetah was like a California hot rodder's Ferrari GTO. Built to frighten Carol Shelby and fitted with the best parts from the hottest Corvette available, Cheetahs were hugely entertaining on the track but not much good for bumbling down to the shops, unless the shop is one quarter mile distant and on a straight level road.

For: Yeehah! Look at him go!
Against: Oh no, he's crashed.
Investment potential: 3/10. It needs a lot of finishing still.

Lotus 23B Replica. Or, for a lot less money you could finish off this pretty Lotus racer which has the advantage of being controllable on the track without you being hurled off the road in a ball of flame at the very first corner. A lost of work has gone into this already and Colin Chapman probably knew a little more about chassis dynamics than the slack jawed yokels who built Cheetahs.

For: Chunky Chapman or Cheetah? You decide.
Against: Don't think about it unless you have a friendly engineer in tow.
Investment potential: 6/10

1956 Chrysler Windsor Coupe. Reasonable American cars are available for 15K but that should not stop us admiring Virgil Exner's finest moment. The Windsor was a middle range product and so did without the techno-bling of the Imperial. The simple flash on the flanks looks ahead to the battle of the fins that would finally be won by Cadillac but only after all good taste had been abandoned in the industry. Later Chryslers looked like Linda Blair having the devil dragged out of her so enjoy this moment.

For: Rose-hued American beauty.
Against: Hard to imagine buyers rushing forward at the price.
Investment potential: I feel an evil laugh coming on. Bwahahahaha.

On some faraway beach

1960 Chevrolet Corvair. So what about an almost new Corvair for 14K instead? The two speed auto will not suit everyone but you do not want to go too quickly in one of these earlier models anyway seeing as the Corvair virtually invented the American safety industry.

For: Going off the road backwards is all part of the fun.
Against: You would not drive anything Ralph Nader actually approved of, would you?
Investment potential: 2/10 but who cares?




 

Things that make the Aesthete go rrnnngahh!

The Aesthete's Fleet

The GTV is at the paint shop now having had its wheel arch fixed in a surgical procedure they use on the TV show Botched to repair bad nose jobs. Large amounts of cosmetic filler were removed from the site and delicate tools and hammers used to reshape the profile into its correct Roman proportions. As my mother used to say about my own prominent honk,  "You have a Roman nose darling. It roams all over your face".

1962 Humber 80 Estate. Well, how many of these have you seen? This smart Humber 80 must be close to unique given that the brand name was only used here to capitalise on the Humber limousines that ferried various visiting regal personages and governors general around their little allotment in the South Pacific. It is just the sort of thing I imagine Betty Windsor would take to the grouse shoot and therefore much too good for anyone reading this blog.

For: For God's sake man, stand up straight and take your hat off.
Against: Nothing. Are you some sort of socialist?
Investment potential: 12/10.

1956 Triumph TR3. The obsession with 'barn finds' does not seem to have struck here in quite the frenzied way it has in other markets. This is because we are not at all surprised to see sports car wrecks in sheds in Balclutha, somehow knowing that is their natural habitat. This rough looking TR has been the victim of an amateur scratch over but little else seems to have disturbed its integrity. I would be tempted to brush paint it in red oxide roof paint and use it as it is.

For: The epitome of the trad British roadster.
Against: Imagine driving the Marquis de Sade's rack on a dirt road.
Investment potential: 10/10

1987 Porsche 944 Turbo. 12.5K to be able to travel at 260KPH is a cost to performance ratio that cannot be ignored by the savvy purchaser. This fact is pushing values up very slowly but the market seems to prefer virginal examples cosseted by Japanese motorists who have only driven them in Yokohama traffic jams. You may be able to do it in a twenty year old Toyota Supra but the Aesthete is washing his hair that day and will be unable to join you.

For: High miles but treated properly.
Against: Please let it not be a bag of Neckarsulm bolts.
Investment potential: Using the cos/perf ratio 9/10

1975 Triumph Dolomite Sprint. The Sprint version of Triumph's luxurious small saloon is another neglected gem produced in the senile fog of the 1970s British motor industry. Treated to a four valve head compromised by a single camshaft producing identical timing for both inlet and exhaust, the Sprint nonetheless gave trouble to BMW 2002s and Alfa GTAs, both of which now sell for an absolute fortune.

For: The vendor seems helpful.
Against: Ask him some questions but don't excite him.
Investment potential: Compared to a GTA, 47/10. In reality 8/10

1974 Fiat 128. Further evidence that Italy should have been the only nation in the world to be allowed to manufacture small family cars in the 1970s is this Fiat 128. So utterly superior to anything else, the driver could forget that they were driving in a child's drawing of a car and pretend it was a club racer. I was once driven around Birkenhead in one by Eric Brook, a car dealer who could have been played by Alec Guinness in a dramatisation of his life. Even though he had it on two wheels, I have never felt safer.

For: The best 128 in New Zealand, or perhaps the RHD world. I would doubt that there are 10 in the whole of the UK.
Against: I have said all I will say on this matter.
Investment potential: Quickly, get it in a container and off to Blighty. 23/10

On some faraway beach...

1952 Simca 8 Sport. The reader who occasionally corrects my spelling of Italian proper names will be busy with this listing that renders them phonetically as heard by a Floridan. I think he means to infer that this lovely Pininfarina Simca looks like an early Ferrari which it does. Simcas of this period were rather close to their Fiat forebears so this is indeed an inexpensive way to the concourse circuit, if that is what turns your crank.

For: If it was a Cisitalia it would be more than you could afford.
Against: Well, it's not, is it?
Investment potential: Simple to restore and potentially valuable. 9/10

The Aesthete relapses

The Aesthete's Fleet
I could not help noticing that the address to which I delivered the Lancia was dotted with Alfetta GTV wrecks so I have made an offer on one with the intention of scavenging its gearbox and sundry bits and pieces. Costs mount up even when buying second hand so a spares car makes sense although its flayed corpse will go to the crusher as soon as I am done with it. I cannot be lowering the tone of the neighbourhood by filling the driveway with hulks, even if they are highly desirable Italian classics. As it is, the Aesthetette is doing her bit by driving into cars at random. She: "I have hit the Alfa" He: "Which one?" So there is the problem laid bare.

1974 Citroen DS23 Safari. I am surprised Wonderboy has not got the trailer hitched up behind his Porsche and speeding northwards now. DS23s are unusual enough but there must only be a handful of Safaris in this the penultimate DS specification. There is not a lot of useful information on the listing and the vendor does mention rust issues but what can be seen looks tidy enough apart from the damaged rear wing. Go forth Francophiles and hie thee to Levin before someone snaps this up.

For: C'est formidable!
Against: Fifteen years laid up could spell trouble.
Investment potential: 6/10. No matter what is wrong with it, the price is right.

1974 Rover 3500S. Cuba was a triumph of western economic planning compared to Solihul in the 1970s. Despite Jaguar being in the next village, no manual gearbox could be found to withstand the torque of the V8 even in mild tune so the five speed conversion is a welcome modification. The interior is looking a bit sad but there are enough of these sitting around under trees for better  seats to be a fairly straightforward matter. If you were feeling suitably bold you could take the resto-mod path and liven things up even more.

For: These are fun with a proper gearbox.
Against: The rest of the mechanicals may need a once over.
Investment potential. Oh, come on. Its 2K.

1937 BSA 10. The Aesthetette's Brummie dad decided that I was fit to marry his daughter when I answered correctly that BSA stood for Birmingham Small Arms. This cumbersome industrial combine also included Daimler and Lanchester so the BSA was effectively a midget Daimler and very well engineered for a car in the 10hp class. The range was typically bewildering with both front and rear wheel drive versions produced in this model year. This appears to be a 10 rather than a Scout but charming in any case.

For: A toff's 10hp.
Against: Make sure you find all the bits. There are not many of these left.
Investment potential: 2/10 and where is the interior may I ask?

1955 Mercury Montclair Sun Valley. The Alfa Brera's glass roof made people look twice ten years ago but the idea goes back to old Henry Ford's experiments with plastics in the 1930s. The Sun Valley option on Mercury's top coupe was tinted glass rather than perspex but there were few takers when a drive in the summer sun led to heat prostration and the potential for driving your new pride and joy into the rear of a semi trailer.

For: The ideal car for Dunedin.
Against: A lot to pay for a failed gimmick.
Investment potential: 2/10 but rarity counts for something.

1961 Skoda Felicia. Bob the Bi-spiderman spotted this last week and told me to look out for it. The Felicia must have brightened up 1950s Prague and you could imagine the city's bright young things feeling happy that they had a domestic product that did not look like it had been designed by slave labour. This one has some dints that detract from the almost Alfa like rear end but those rear quarter bumpers give the Aesthete a pleasant tingle.

For: Fun, fun, fun until her daddy took the Tatra away.
Against: Nothing really.
Investment potential: 4/10

On some faraway beach...

1961 Moretti 500. People pay more than this for 500 saloons now so this coach built Moretti coupe should find a buyer quickly. The tuning potential of Fiat's little twin knows few rational bounds so the daring owner could find performance to match the Le Mans looks. Now there is an idea... Index of thermal efficiency anyone?

For: Oh go on. Look at its cute little face.
Against: Nothing, and think of the planet.
Investment potential: 6/10 and you can always convert it to electric traction.

The Aesthete meets a local on a one way bridge

On the Alfa club run to the Catlins, as it happens, and on the Alfetta's first proper outing. Despite the fact I was already on the bridge and had the arrow in my direction, on he came in his white Nissan Enema and scraped his way down the right wing until our eyes met through our respective drivers windows. After I spoke with him using short words and compact phrases he thought it best to reverse leading to more ear rending sounds of tearing metal. This regional savage gave me what will probably be an assumed name and phone number and weaved off towards his destination.

1934 Riley Mentone. Oh the bountiful variety of pre-war Rileys. If you can think of one, there are at least four others with tiny twin cam six cylinder engines and pre-select gearboxes. This model was produced as Alpine, Kestrel and Mentone saloons, Lincock coupé, Ascot drop head coupé, Lynx tourer and March Special gentleman's racer. The Mentone saloon offered here has the short chassis (!) and is fitted with the 1,458cc, 12hp engine.

For: I have been boring people with this information forever but David Bowie owned a Riley Gamecock.
Against: Nothing. God himself could not build a better 1930s saloon.
Investment potential: Oh I don't know. 17/10.

1952 Daimler Consort Shooting Brake. Oh come on one of you. It is down to 3K now and I am beginning to feel sorry for the hapless vendor who cannot post a straight image, is reduced to an eight word description and has clearly lost the will to live.

For: Elegant, quality post war wagon that would reward a good tidying.
Against: Check and see that the body is not riddled with teredo worm or something equally dire.
Investment potential: 3/10. Someone will want it after you have done all the work.

1974 Wolseley Six. Ah yes, the infamous Weaseley Six, misbegotten child of a confused motor industry viewing its own demise. Oddly enough, the engineers at BMC in Australia did much of the development of the fwd sixes for their modern Kimberly series while the Brits carried on trying to sell the old 1800 shells. Needless to say, it was a strategy that usual worked better the other way around.

For: A certain demented snob appeal. Take Cynthia to the church fete in this.
Against: You will have to fix a few things first.
Investment potential: Bwahaha

1936 Ford CX. There are so many Morris Eights on Trademe it is as though they were the only small saloon of the era to have survived. The alternative from Dagenham was this charming 5/8th scale piece of Americana which was modern in styling rather than engineering. Unlike the crude and awful post-war Prefect, the CX was a pleasant little car and a would still be good for pottering around in now.

For: Great if you do not need to be anywhere quickly.
Against: So sloooow.
Investment potential: 2/10 with a diminishing band of followers.

1974 Mercedes 280. The vendor sneaks in a whole Mercedes collection under this innocent heading including a rare 300 SE saloon, the pinnacle of Benz technology in the early 1960s. He claims that it has a good body but does not show us the interior, generally finished in hide with hand made timber fillets everywhere. Or indeed tell us about the air suspension.

For: We love a mystery, don't we?
Against: It only needs a piston he says.
Investment potential: It will cost a fortune to put right so -17/10


On some faraway beach...

1962 Facel Vega Facellia Coupe. Way down New Mexico way is where you will find this Facel Vega Facellia hidden in the sage brush and waiting for a sympathetic new owner. The problematic Pont á Mousson built twin cam engine has been replaced with a Toyota twin cam but the last versions had Volvo 1800 motors fitted anyway. The elegant little coupe body would look more fabulous in gunmetal grey and the interior is waiting for its red leather.

For: Go on. You know you want to.
Against: What? You don't want to?
Investment potential: Modest, I will admit.