The Aesthete receives his prize

... for the 1750 GTV that I took on the Alfa Romeo club run up to Oturehua (look it up if you don't know your central South Island geography). The prize was awarded for the best coloured car so I think it must have been a lady judge and a tasteful one at that. The girls just love verde olivia metallizzato AR-213.

1971 Peugeot 504. Given that these cars commonly travel 100,000 miles between oil changes in the wastes of Namibia, this example must be considered barely used. It has suffered from being stored outside under a cheap plastic cover but the small amount of surface rust seems manageable. You get another car thrown in with the deal and the reserve is $1. Come on now. One of you step forward.

For: It has air conditioning!
Against: Could it be the breeze entering through the rust holes?
Investment potential: 2/10 but then you get one of the best quality saloons ever built.

1960 Imperial Le Baron. Are these the worst pictures of a car ever placed on Trademe? It must be a close run thing and therefore the vendor's assessment of the worth of this vast show boat should also be viewed with skepticism. If you want us to pay upwards of 20K for it, best get busy with the dusting cloth and turn some lights on in the shed. Even so, this is a mighty piece of American parade pomp from the height of their imperial phase. I could imagine Gemini astronauts riding in the back of it.

For: Square steering wheel! Panelescent instrument lighting!
Against: "Not vinned but it can be easily done". I will have that on my headstone, thank you.
Investment potential: 1/10. Not much in it after a paint and retrim unless you are happy to live in a one roomed shack in the hills.

1970 Austin 3-Litre. As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. The Aesthete is that way with Austin 3-Litres so what is the strange magnetism possessed by these blowsy products of the 1960s British motor industry? I imagine they are roomy, smooth, quiet and comfortable. Pininfarina may have got a tenner for designing the nose. That is all.

For: Stand up and salute, man!
Against: You will turn into a retired colonel as soon as you turn the key.
Investment potential: 1/10. I imagine they have their fans somewhere.

1969 Sunbeam Imp. Not a Stiletto sadly, but a rare variant nonetheless. The vendor's story raises some questions about the reason for a vacuum cleaner respray at some point in the car's history but this plush little buzz box meets and exceeds the Aesthete's criteria for such. Is it worth 5K? Only the serious Impophile could say for certain.

For: Leave it white but put it on minilite wheels. Grwwlll
Against: Read the vendor's comments carefully.
Investment potential: 1/10 but more if you can paint it yourself.

1950 Jowett Javelin. Here is another of the Aesthete's weaknesses but not as inexplicable as some of the others. This Javelin was modified by Dunedin's Leo Padman,  an eccentric but brilliant engineer and sound recordist who built his own tape recorders in the 1950s and produced The Tumbleweeds. He had a sideline in tuning the flat four Javelin and they were capable of 100 mph after he was finished with them. His own car was even quicker.

For: A piece of New Zealand history, yours for the taking.
Against. Nothing. Buy it.
Investment potential. 8/10

Meanwhile. back in Blighty

1962 Ogle SX 1000. David Ogle's brilliant reformatting of the Mini from a house brick into a gorgeous ovoid is like watching Jean Shrimpton coming down the catwalk. I think we all know what SX stands for. Yours for 15 UK + shipping. Go on. You know you want to.

Wonderboy is unmasked

The Aesthete's Fleet

... at a dinner party in Port Chalmers where postprandial chatter led to a guest being outed as the mystery mechanic known only to readers of this blog as Wonderboy.  I will take suggestions for a new alias for him but am quietly gratified that at least two people are reading the Petrolhead Aesthete.

The new Alfetta GTV was collected yesterday. As Wonderboy might vouchsafe, it motors very well. It will go even better when I have plowed the filler off it, a task that I began today with the left rear wing. Like all such cars it has been subject to indifferent repairs but the welds applied years ago have held and it is only holed in a couple of places.  Although you might add masochism to the Aesthete's list of vices, I only feel alive when attacking a woeful old Italian car with an angle grinder. If someone gave me a job doing it I would leave academe tomorrow.

1959 Volkwagen Kombi. This spectacular grossekombi kamperwagen has been expanded in all dimensions by an ingenious but unidentified coach builder.  The hopeful vendor suggests selling it for a fortune back in Blighty but the top money is only paid for lavishly restored many windowed micro-busses, not bloated one-offs from the colonies. Let that be your gain, however. I wonder what the interior is like?

For: I bet the Germans have got a better word for it.
Against. Every one of those 1600ccs will be screaming with the effort.
Investment potential: 3/10 but imagine the fun.

1966 Nissan Cedric. The Aesthete has expressed a fatal weakness for these Pininfarina-styled Nissans in the past but has sensibly recoiled from the 6K lichen coated example that that has been on Trademe forever. Here is one that might go for a sensible price. It is what the doomed Austin 3 Litre would have looked like if the BMC executives had been receiving the care they clearly needed. It probably attracts a similar sort of owner so I would like to be there to witness the sale.

For: Pininfarina saloon that looks like a Japanese Lancia. What not to like?
Against: You will probably end up with the 6K one as well.
Investment potential: Ngghhragah!

1951 Austin A70 Hampshire. What is this rolly-poly old lard bucket doing here, I hear you ask. The Hampshire was a bit of a Q-ship that stropped along nicely with its big 2.2 litre four, reaching a blistering 83 mph in 1948. It was a smaller version of the engine that went into the first Austin Healey and was so abundant with torque that they blanked off low gear for the sports car. You get that first gear here for nothing and you will climb any hill with it engaged.

For: Spats. The Aesthete likes a well turned out rear end.
Against: Old people will tell you about their courting days. Eww.
Investment potential: 4/10. You never know.

1989 Citroen BX TRS. As pleasant as modern Citroens are they are not really modern anymore. That all stopped with the BX with its plastic bonnet, glass C pillar and avant-garde interior decor straight from the set of Space 1999. It is therefore the only car of its era that looks good in white. This one-lady -owner example is barely run in at 79KMs and is the best way I can think of to pay homage to an otherwise appalling decade. Find your old Plastic Bertrand tapes now.

For: C'est chic, non?
Against: I zink nozink.
Investment potential: 4/10 The world must be running out of nice ones by now.

1968 Ford Thunderbird. The final year for the lean hipped 1960s Thunderbirds before the styling went completely to hell. This is overpriced I know but represents the cost of a restored car rather than one that has had a quick blow-over with a rattle can in a Puerto Rican chop shop prior to export to New Zealand. The shiny black has a real air of menace about it and they look even better without the ubiquitous padded vinyl roof. And those rear seats.... grwwwll.

For: A tasteful big American.
Against: Tasteful... such a loaded expression.
Investment potential: 0/10 sadly.

A bargain awaits the right purchaser.

1954 Kaiser Special. If you had a loose 20K and wanted something almost unique (they only built two of these apparently), why not a Kaiser? Sensibly and tastefully modified with a new V8 and automatic transmission, disc brakes, Blaupunkt sound system and modern electrics, you could be guaranteed that no-one else will have one. The Aesthete would tip his hat to you. He spits on the ground when he sees a 1957 Chevrolet.

The Aesthete takes the plunge

The Aesthete's Fleet

 ... and buys another wreck. 'What is it this time?',  I hear you ask. Not another decrepit Lancia, sadly, but an early model Alfetta GTV that used to belong to an old friend when it was quite smart but has now fallen on hard times. Why do I want it? No reason apart from the fact that it is the same colour as the other GTV and they will look well together when the new one is painted. Apart from that, it has rust in the common places and a whistling clutch or gearbox bearing. Stay tuned for updates.

1963 Studebaker Champ. Word has got around that the Aesthete is a bit of a big girl's blouse. Not true, and here is a nice butch truck to prove it. It is a Studebaker of course, possibly the most style conscious of the great American marques but I would swap the wheels for the originals (with hubcaps of course) and paint it gun metal grey. Grwwlll.

For: No-one will call you names in this.
Against: They will just assume your name is Bubbah.
Investment potential: 3/10. Cheaper than an F100 and much better looking.



1955 Morris Minor Utility. I did not go into Trademe looking for trucks but this one caught my eye due to its locally made rear bodywork. You would not be hauling around scrap Lancia engines in it but it would go down a treat at the farmers' market with a load of your finest hydrangeas, arranged carefully in matched bunches and in a nice hand painted clay pot.

For: Oh come on. Its sweet.
Against: Nothing. And it might make you some money.
Investment potential: 5/10 with everything you need available.



1984 Chevrolet Silverado Western Wilderness. Watch them pull their tent-flaps down and huddle inside their sleeping bags  when you rumble into the camping ground in this. I like the Breaking Bad connotations of this combination that could possibly see the resourceful owner combining holidays with a ram raid or two to keep the funds topped up.

For: Nasty.
Against. No, it really is nasty.
Investment potential: We will let the market decide.



1962 Ford Consul 315 Classic. It is looking like an episode of Heartbeat this week. I almost expect a troup of overacting British TV performers to run into the room shouting 'There he is! Under the bed!' The Consul 315 combined the pop-eyed styling tropes of contemporary Mercurys and Thunderbirds with utterly dismal performance. Even so, this must be almost unmatchable in condition and dead cheap if you think about it.

For: Someone might shoot a 1960s film here and want one of these.
Against: Send it back to Blighty.
Investment potential: 4/10 but only if you don't use it.



1970 Citroen D Super. Oh dear. Someone has let mum and dad's old Citroen go to rack and ruin outside under a cheap cover. Their loss, your gain as I doubt if there are many restorable one owner Ds out there for this sort of price. Come on, brave souls. Someone is blowing you kisses from motoring heaven.

For: Hopefully it is not too far gone.
Against: Rusty floors...
Investment potential: What can I say?

The Aesthete's secret shame...



1959 Ghia Fiat 1200. Oh alright, I know the photographs are terrible and it appears to have no floors but look at it!

The Aesthete makes the best of it

The Aesthete's Fleet

Even the Aesthete's polymorphously perverse taste is challenged in times like this. A good week would produce a home-built alloy bodied special, an obscure Italian or German rear engined buzz box in coupe form, a blobby behemoth of American origin, an over technologised saloon that nobody likes and a two stroke. Oh well, we do the best with the material supplied...

Today, the Lancia started with the sort of sound I imagine you would hear in Hell. It was an agonised metallic shrieking accompanied by loud chuffing and thumping, accompanied by a violent shaking from side to side. In deciding to run on two cylinders only, and on one side to boot, it managed to shake its fan shroud loose into the path of the cast alloy four bladed fan that functions like Satan's kitchen whiz. 

1960 Dodge Pioneer. Okay, here is your behemoth for the week. Big American wagons are endlessly interesting, particularly as your eye travels to the rear. There, all the wicked genius of the styling studio is put to getting the rear side glass around the back corner and safely out of the way of ray gun tail lights, fighter plane tail fins and three way opening tail gates.  It is visual poetry I tell you.

For: Oh, that rear end, definitely.
Against: Sorry. It is a stupid price.
Investment potential: -2/10

1958 BMW 502 V8. Germany is the natural home of the ultimate OTS (over technologised saloon). You would think with the coupe and convertible versions heading for a million dollars and collector's store rooms that the gracious BMW 502 saloons would generate more interest. Essentially bespoke in terms of production numbers and quality, many have fallen to provide parts for the sports cars. The globular looks have aged pleasantly and imagine what you would pay if it was French!

For: Patina and not even fully derelict.
Against: You would need to adjust to the appearance.
Investment potential: 3/10 Surely a good one must be worth something?

1991 Lotus Elan M100. Home built special? No, not quite but rather Lotus' doomed effort to produce a well mannered sports car alongside the mass market MG/Rover TF. Unlike the mid engined competition, the Lotus is front wheel drive and the dynamics are some way distant of the original plastic Emma Peel wonder machine.  No Lotus lacks character of course but the character here is oddly Oriental and ordinary.

For: You will not see many others.
Against: No-one will know what it is.
Investment potential: 0/10. Sorry again. 25K is silly.

1996 BMW 850 CI. Rather like the unloved Porsche 928, sellers are keen to convince us that these big and powerful BMW coupes are some sort of 'collectors car'. The Aesthete demurs as there appears to be no obvious market for them which, of course, makes them desperately attractive. This logic bypass might allow one to overlook the terrifying service bills, metric tyres at 1K a corner and other mild drawbacks of ownership.

For: Better than a Ferrari 455 and prices declining to our level.
Against: The mild drawbacks may ruin you.
Investment potential: Have I not made myself clear?

1966 Vauxhall VX4/90.  In my childhood I was able to spot the earlier VX4/90 models by their cathedral shaped tail lights and all sightings were duly logged in the back of the Observers Book of Automobiles that accompanied me on road trips with my parents. This later car has a swish interior at a time when bucket REAR seats meant something.

For: Forget the outside, inside is where the party is. Grwwllll.
Against. I suppose you will have to drive it.
Investment potential. 3/10. The ultimate anorak's car.

Rear engined Italian buzz bomb of the week

1969 Lombardi Grand Prix. Fitted with what must be the best instrument pod ever put into a car, the Lombardi Grand Prix is the peak of the Fiat 850 race. This extremely rare Abarth tuned right hand drive example is restored to a high level and is waiting in Sydney for you to fork over a modest amount of money. The story of its production involved shady deals and deaths so you will be able to bore everyone stupid at the next Italian car day.

For: Oh, come on.
Against: Nulla!
Investment potential: 2/10 Probably peak money for one of these but there is a following.

The Aesthete reverts to type

 The Aesthete's Fleet. 

Long weekends are for tinkering and so tinker I did, replacing leaky engine gaskets in the GTV. The Aesthete is not one to be shamed by an oily engine bay although I could see fellow Alfa club members wincing at the combination of cat prints and bird ordure on the car as we joined the recent run to Oamaru. I also found out that you can repair small tears in leather with Superglue. The repair is almost invisible and the wonder substance is the self same thing they would use on you if you were maimed in a bar fight. 

1974 Fiat 128 Coupe. Fiat really did have a coupe for every occasion in the 1970s. The 128 was intended to take the place of the 850 but it could not duplicate the charm of the earlier car even though it was better in virtually every way. The small numbers sold in New Zealand and the optimistic build quality means they are a rare sight today but this one seems to have enjoyed the sheltered life that is key to their survival.

For: This could be your last chance.
Against: Best catch the rust before it becomes serious.
Investment potential: 2/10. Even the most dedicated Italianophile is a bit indifferent to these.

1967 Lotus Elan S2. Colin Chapman really only got it right once with his road cars. The dainty Elan was a revelation compared to the overbuilt steel tubs full of heavy old saloon bits that the mainstream makers passed off as sports cars. They are miniscule so if you are a normal sized adult you may feel like you are riding in a plastic pool toy but there is nothing else remotely like it. And by that I mean an MX5, fine car that it is.

For: A purist's choice without a trace of doubt.
Against: Your weekends will be permanently lost to niggling repairs.
Investment potential: 4/10.  Look at those tail lights. Grwwllll.

1974 Porsche 911 Targa. I usually defer to Wonderboy on these matters but this 2.7 Targa could even break down my long held resistance to the species. With the earlier pre-safety bumper models heading into serious 'investment' territory, the canny buyer looks for opportunity elsewhere in the range. The hot orange paint and stainless steel roof hoop are perfectly in tune and it is not a Sportmatic which would perhaps be a step too far.

For: No whale tail or flares to be seen.
Against. Nothing. They are growing on me, I tell you.
Investment potential. 5/10 if it stays low and sells. Bidders are getting excited though.

1973 Mercedes 350SLC. That missing C in the vendor's listing unfortunately means everything with these cars. The lengthened SL in fixed coupe form was a glamorous thing in the 1970s and often owned by the indulged wives of plutocrats and Matamata bloodstock types. This one is NZ new and the milage is a mere bagatelle if it has been serviced properly.

For: Roughly one fifth the price of a good convertible.
Against. It does not look particularly baggy but a drive would reveal all.
Investment potential: 1/10 but who is worried at that price?

1984 Alfa Sud Ti. The last of the much admired Alfa Sud saloons could gamely keep up with the new crop of performance hatchbacks, particularly when driven by someone for whom life was cheap. Small cars are still Alfa Romeo's strong suit and it is not a coincidence that the modern range is named Guilietta and not 177 or similar bland numerical nonsense.

For: Bravissimo!
Against. Oh damn. It looks like the glass will have to come out.
Investment potential: 4/10 as people realise they are disappearing by the day.

On some faraway beach... well Swindon actually

1958 Lancia Appia Promiscuo. Oh yes, it looks like it has had many lovers alright but would you not want to drive something called a Promiscuo? Well I would.