The Aesthete casts his net

The Aesthete's Fleet

Most would agree that a thousand chimpanzees working at typewriters could not produce a Shakespearean play. That is because they were all busy at the Alfa Romeo plant at Arese designing the body pressings for the tipo 116 Alfetta GTV.  Never has a car been devised with so many rust traps. I found another one hidden underneath the gutter;  a separate pressing with a negative detail allowing water to sit behind unless the channel is cleaned out regularly. I have taken to it with a dental probe and filled the defect with rust primer.

1990 Bentley Turbo R. The first Mulsanne Turbos had boulevardier suspension settings so the R model [for roadholding, naturally] was developed to ensure Rolls Royce lost no important customers to bridge abutments or similar immovable hazards.  They continue their fall towards worthlessness and I expect to see one in a drift race soon where their abundant power and modest tread could produce an impressive cloud of burnt rubber.

For: Your poor parents will think you have finally made something of yourself.
Against: The service bills, mainly.
Investment potential: 0/10 sorry.

1972 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia. Let this be a lesson to us all that when we acquire another project we have somewhere dry to store it while the requisite eight years elapse until we finally get on with it.  There is no mentions of floors so it probably does not have any. The bids have reached $24 now and it serves the neglectful vendor right.

For: Wonderboy has an early 911 motor salted away under the stairs, I hear.
Against: Unless you are handy with a welder, best let this one past.
Investment potential: It will probably go past the current silly bid but who knows?

1965 Hillman Super Minx Convertible. Another chic convertible from the diverse Rootes range from whence you could have this or a Sunbeam Rapier. It would be naughty but if you could find a rusty Humber Sceptre you could extract the dash, seats and nose panel off it and whip up yet another variation on a theme. Painted gunmetal grey on wire wheels... grwwlll.

For: A superior kind of Minx.
Against: Little that I can see.
Investment potential: 17K might be a bit optimistic but not many full four seater open classics available for that sort of money

1990 Honda NSX. You might consider 50K a lot or a little for this Honda, dependant on your thoughts about twenty five year old electronics and similar issues relating to state of the art technology from the last century. The NSX was the height of the Japanese industry while it was in its pomp and there has been nothing like it since.  Silver and black is a good combination and flatters the slightly gawky lines.

For: A highly capable car built to a very high standard.
Against: Would you not rather have a Ferrari?
Investment potential: 1/10. Difficult to see what is keeping the prices this high.

1987 Citroen CX GTI Turbo. The Aesthete rather likes a car that tells the driver it has a turbocharger through very large raised type in the middle of the steering wheel. This is necessary in a CX because you will never know how fast you are going due to the splendidly cosseting ride and power assisted everything. I wish we had the German attitude to autobahn speed so you could try out the 220 KPH upper limit.

For: It even looks good in white.
Against: Starting to look a bit baggy inside.
Investment potential: 2/10. They go from this price to nothing if neglected so keep on top of it.

Back in Blighty

Old friend Buck sent me a link to a Lancia 2000 saloon on EbayUK but underneath was something more interesting, a Pininfarina bodied Lancia Appia Coupe. This elegant little number with its miniature Ferrari 250 looks would make a fine companion for the Flavia and has attracted desultory bids. Nine days to go, however.

The Aesthete goes looking for a tow car

A friend is looking for a Ford Zephyr Mk 3 with which to tow her 1972 Zephyr caravan. I admit there is a certain pleasing symmetry there but steep asking prices for respectable cars is making the search fruitless. Always willing to help, the Aesthete's patented Trademe search algorithm has been reset to medium scale, rear wheel drive and sufficient power to pull a sailor off your sister. Let us see what that throws up...

Rover 3-Litre Coupe. The main considerations when towing a caravan are that you receive the right envious looks when on the road and are refreshed when arriving at your destination. Even hippies in tents will smile benignly when you draw up in your elegant combination, thinking perhaps the Queen has become bored with Balmoral and has chosen Akaroa instead for her summer hol's. Automatic transmission and a good hefty towbar suggest this lovely Rover has been used for a similar purpose in the past.

For: Oh come on. Look at it.
Against: Big and complex compared to a Mk 3.
Investment potential: 4/10. Bentley quality at a Ford price.

1964 Mercury Montclair Breezeway. Zephyr caravans had a distinctive forward lean to the side profile so what better than a Mercury with a retractable reverse angle rear window, one of those distracting novelties that caused other drivers to veer off the turnpike as they craned their necks to look. The wheel is on the wrong side and it needs a towbar but these are mere trifles compared to the practicality of an electrically powered rear window.

For: The vendor vouches for the low milage so lots of life left in it yet.
Against: You will need to be clever at spotting gas stations with a 390 cubic inch V8.
Investment potential: 2/10. A big American with character.

1971 Austin 3-Litre. Yes, I know these cars were mad, sad and doomed but surely this is the purpose they were made for? The weight of the caravan will disguise the plodding performance and give the self leveling rear suspension something to level while you waft along in great comfort fiddling with the controls on the modernist walnut sideboard cum-dashboard.

For: Enough power to tow a caravan if not much left in reserve.
Against: Oh, a great many things I am sure.
Investment potential: 1/10. They are very rare in England I believe. Why are we not sending them back?

1973 Toyota Crown. Being a perverse type I have always liked the Baroque styling of this Toyota Crown, particularly in the early body coloured bumper form as featured here. The plush red interior looks most inviting and they are more wieldy than you might imagine – compared to a VH Valiant anyway. You will not be testing the chassis dynamics while towing your load so the wooly steering and floaty suspension will pass unnoticed.

For:  After pandering to the Americans for years, Toyota goes it alone.
Against: People will think the yakuza hit squad has arrived at the camping ground.
Investment potential: 3/10. See comment on the Austin 3-Litre and substitute Japan.

1984 Jaguar XJS. The late and brilliant engineer Ralph Thompson, maker of the streamlined caravan in the Toitu Otago Settlers Museum collection, used an XJS to tow it around the South Island and was always guaranteed an appreciative crowd when they purred to a halt somewhere. The low milage on this car suggests that the TLC needed will be a result of lengthy periods standing so get your mechanic to check all the fuel lines. You don't want to draw a crowd for the wrong reasons.

For: I tip my hat to Ralph, one of the most tasteful men I have ever met.
Against: Best not try and caculate the petrol money.
Investment potential: 2/10. The best value big GT of them all continues its slide.




From the other side...

Well, its right here actually and Wonderboy spotted it last week. Fully restored and once the property of car and bike racer Mike Hailwood, this Citroen SM is what the Aesthete would take camping. Except there would be no camping, just high speed motoring from one luxury lodge to the next. No sand in the egg sandwiches and damp sleeping bags for this boy.

The Aesthete goes to the Autospectacular

Just as the title says, Dunedin's premier old car event has rolled around again. To the Aesthete's jaded eye, there were few sights that deserved to be called spectacular but it is a pleasant day out and a rare opportunity to poke around old cars that are normally locked away.  The elderly couple who drove their 1930 Rolls Royce Phantom faux cabriolet from Invercargill should have got a bravery medal but their's is the sort of heroism that is overlooked for preposterous custom cars that are inevitably trailered to these events because they are undrivable. So here is the undisputed highlight of the day...

Yes, it is one of those Farina Nashs that I am partial to. It was
stunning in the metal and I REALLY want one now.

1936 Singer Bantam De Luxe. The vendor claims 900 horsepower for this little Singer which would be spectacular if it was true. The statement that it is one of two in the world might also be taken with a grain of salt although it would be fair to say that survivors are sparse, particularly in two door De Luxe trim as here. This means that there is a sliding metal sunroof to enjoy on sunny days while you potter down to the lakeside for a salmon and lettuce sandwich and a glass of rosé.

For: An unusual and superior sporting alternative to a Morris 8.
Against: The photographs look like they were taken on a Kodak Instamatic so may not show the car as it is now.
Investment potential: 2/10. These are charming cars but all potential owners are on the pension now.

1960 Humber 80. Just to show I am not scornful of the custom car tribe in its entirety, this looks like it could be great fun. I would be inclined to return it to standard appearance and enjoy it as a four door Sunbeam Tiger. If you felt particularly creative you could fashion a new badge for it. I suggest Humber Hyrax GT– I doubt if that has been used before.

For: Give the baseball cap on backwards set a scare with this.
Against: You will need to find your inner bogan.
Investment potential: 0/10 if you figure in the respray, chroming and retrim.

1956 Peugeot 203. The Aesthete's preference for Peugeots is based on the slim hipped 1940s streamlined body shell of the 203 that is the most elegant of all the efforts to cut something like a Chevrolet Fleetmaster down to European proportions. Think of an early Vanguard if you wish to see how this transformation can go seriously awry. Meanwhile, enjoy the smooth, quiet progress of the Peugeot as benighted Light 15 owners struggle to maneuver out of a parallel park somewhere.

For: Très chic n'est-ce pas?
Against. Nozzing. An zo inexpensif!
Investment potential: 5/10 if under 2K but it depends what the vendor will accept.

1971 Lotus Europa. The feverish imagination of Colin Chapman never quite stretched to product planning so the Europa turned from a cheap Lotus 7 replacement to a mini-Le Mans GT car without anyone referring back to the brief. This S2 model gets winding side windows which adds to the practicality but retains the Renault 16 engine and gearbox which are probably harder to get parts for now than the more exotic Lotus unit. The high sided tail section and narrow wheels add to the period charm.

For: Like the Rush movie but a car.
Against: Your weekends are never fully yours with a Lotus.
Investment potential: 2/10 if you can find another ex-pat British engineer to sell it to.

1990 Peugeot 205 GTI. I can hear a heavily grease-painted Lawrence Olivier  delivering the vendor's pitch from the stage at the Old Vic but this Peugeot may well deserve the slightly overwrought build up.  Good GTIs are now very desirable, particularly in larger engined 1.9  form.  Unburdened by power steering, electric windows, traction control and other fripperies all the available power can be delivered to the front wheels and used to frighten the driver.

For: Every trip to the dairy can be your tarmac rally stage.
Against: I will have to send Michele Mouton around to talk to you.
Investment potential: 6/10. A good one is a sure bet.

If money was not an object...

While the two modern Rolls Royces at the show make you stop and look, the idea of driving one leaves the Aesthete oddly unmoved. Even the Wraith coupe with the rear opening doors looked like something made for arriving in rather than driving all day for the sheer pleasure of it. For the same money you could have this Alfa Romeo 2600 Sprint Zagato. I suspect most people would walk straight past it at the Autospectacular but that is what it is all about.

The Aesthete picks five more

Trademe continues to surprise by turning up the sort of selection the Aesthete wishes for every week. The sweet spot is provided by the Maserati Merak, a particular favorite that was drawn at all sorts of difficult angles in my biology exercise book while I should have been paying attention to mitochondria or some nonsense like that. It was far more useful to master drawing the various ovoids necessary to get a front wheel in correct relationship to the wheel arch.

He who shall be called Bi-spiderman sent me this fabulous speedster with a V8 airship engine spotted by his favorite daughter in Melbourne. Just the thing for the dash into Dunedin from Port Chalmers. If you are wondering how it sounds, watch this...

1963 Bond Equipe GT4S. Bond was a maker of microcars that looked a bit like invalid carriages until the inventive Lawrie Bond had the bright idea to glue a fibreglass fastback body onto a Herald frame and make an instant small GT car. The Equipe therefore has all the flaws and advantages of its underpinnings including the wayward rear swing axle arrangement that made early Spitfires a bit of a handful. 1147 ccs will not allow you to get into too much trouble, however.

For: Great looking front. And it is New Zealand new.
Against: Side profile, not so much.
Investment potential: 3/10 and cheap to keep going.

1968 Lotus Elan +2. Elan aficionados might say wait for a later 2 litre car but ultimate performance in a Lotus is not really the issue. You would choose this one for the same reason you would by an early 1960s Alfa Romeo Guilia GTV because it is a car best expressed in its pure and uncorrupted original form. And that yellow is perfect.

For: Barring the Italians of course, this is as good as a small GT got in the 1960s.
Against: Like all Lotii, needs an indulgent owner prepared to spend money from time to time.
Investment potential: 3/10.

1956 Berkeley SE328. The vendor's gripes about the previous owner's low character suggests that this is not all that it seems and the effort of sorting it all out has become too much for the poor fellow. Peevishness aside, we gain the impression that the big Excelsior triple might be a bit too much engine for the fly weight Berkeley and that the original cars were strengthened and modified at the factory to cope.  Still, the Aesthete maintains that scaring yourself is what Berkeley ownership is all about. And here is a little treat. The magnificent Ian Hunter singing his mum's favorite song A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.

For: 30 HP, 820 lbs, 85 mph.
Against: It depends if you value human life, yours or anyone else in the way when you open up the three Amals.
Investment potential: 1/10. Possibly worth more in original specification although not as much fun.

1975 Masearti Merak. A four seat Bora with the smaller Maserati V6 and hydraulics from the Citroen SM, the Merak was a worthy Dino competitor but now worth only one tenth the money. And rare too with only 700-odd of this type. It all looks entirely like what a 22K classic Maserati should with the awful combination of shiny paint and fist sized holes that speak of a quick blow over for sale at some point not too long ago. Oh, and the fragile motor is seized.

For: The sensible would say absolutely nothing.
Against: Well, when did we listen to them?
Investment potential: A nice one is probably edging to 100K so there is plenty of leeway if you can do some of the work yourself.

1981 Alfa Romeo Guilietta. A sound 1981 Alfa Romeo Guilietta  would have required some kind of papal indulgence as rust is the original sin that all Alfas were born to carry.  Despite looking like it was assembled from old PC cases, these cars provided great fun with a sparkling twin cam motor and exuberant decor that will make you smile like a fool every time you get in.

For: Young people will give you the eyebrow flick and say it is cool.
Against: Nothing really. A good one is an absolute delight.
Investment potential: 4/10 if our shared pursuit can just last the next ten years.

On some faraway beach...

1958 Simca Oceane: The Aesthete's weakness for coachbuilt oddballs swings between the Italian and the French distaff side where Bonnets, Matras and Simca Oceane's roam. The swanky lines of this mini-Facel Vega suggest more abundant performance than was ever likely from the Flash Spécial engine but, like a Karmann Ghia, 100 KPH is just fine in one of these.

For: Sunny day, top down, gruyere cheese and ham, French loaf, Edith Piaf on the radio...
Against: There are probably no Simca Arondes around any more for parts.
Investment potential: 2/10 A bit of finishing off required but cheap for the great looks.