The Aesthete considers his next move

The Aesthete's Fleet
I answered a kind invitation from a fellow Alfa club member to drive his early Alfetta saloon. It is an intriguing car and keeps company with a Subaru SVX. Built in South Africa in 1976 and badged as an Executive, it was fitted with the same two litre engine as the GTV. Unsurprisingly, it drove with similar verve and handling characteristics. It did not have the vibrating propellor shaft that makes you feel like you are driving a large marital aid. Wonder Boy is to investigate and a report will be issued when the problem is properly diagnosed. Needless to say, the web is full of stuff and nonsense on the issue of Alfetta propellor shafts with remedies including fixing hose clamps to the recalcitrant rotating items. I doubt that even the Arese engineers would stoop to that.

1954 Austin A40 Countryman. The Aesthete has a weakness for old British light commercials so this Countryman would find a place in his large open span shed that is becoming necessary to house his sprawling collection. Until that happy dream is realised someone else will have to rise to the challenge of sorting this one out. It should be painted drab green with some tasteful sign writing tendering whatever services the owner is prepared to offer.

For: Not for hurrying about in.
Against: Imagine the din at open road speed.
Investment potential: 4/10 as the start price is fair for something this rare and charming.

1953 Sunbeam Talbot 90 Mk 2A DHC. The cosy cabin of the Sunbeam Talbot saloon was determined by the roof pressing of the old Sunbeam Talbot 10 so cutting the whole thing off produced a handsome and roomy convertible.  A larger rear window aperture appears in place of the letter slot originally fitted and the awkward shape suggests a bit of creative bodging has gone on. The fruity colour is also possibly not pukkah but I am beginning to sound like I do not like this car when I very much do.

For: Not much around to compete with this.
Against: Only snobbish conceits about the grand names of Sunbeam and Talbot being applied to tarted up Humbers.
Investment potential: 2/10. 25K is already quite a bit for a ST90 so we will wait and see.

1955 Buckler Mk 6. Before Colin Chapman rewrote the clubman racer book with the Lotus Seven, the field was open for a host of others to artfully rearrange piles of used Ford parts into cheap and cheerful competition cars. Buckler was a Reading based maker whose clever space frame chassis allowed them to stay ahead of the cruder competition. This example was built under licence in New Zealand and has a storied past having been destroyed and rebuilt into its present form. The pictures on the listing tell all.

For: It will feel quick even on 40 horse power.
Against: It is no Lotus.
Investment potential: 2/10 although the asking price does not seem greedy.

1997 TVR Cerberra: TVR went all out in the 1990s and commissioned its own engines off the sometime frock maker and Formula One engine guru Al Melling. Thus the TVR carried its mad genetic material into the world of very high performance cars where the resultant Speed Eight had to be governed to 185 MPH. Some versions had an unmarked button on the dash that switched the engine mapping so that the driver could leave the earth's gravitational pull. God knows what they made of all this in Japan but I doubt if this car was used on the daily commute.

For: Nothing remotely effete about this Blackpool yob carrier.
Against: The horror stories about Cerberras just seem to add fuel to the fire.
Investment potential: At 60K you might wonder but the horsepower to dollar ratio is probably in your favour.

1994 Jaguar XJR Supercharged. Or for around one sixth of the the price of a TVR you could go almost as fast but reliably in this Jaguar that features a supercharged version of the silky and sonorous six cylinder engine. Jaguar was recovering after the anodyne replacement for the much admired XJ6 failed to impress anyone, leaving discussion focused on its automatic gear selector dubbed the Randle handle, surely only a little less interesting than a rubber grommet.

For: Grace, space and pace, redux.
Against: Bound to appreciate, says the vendor.
Investment potential. 1/10. Well he would say that, wouldn't he? Oh, and vale Christine Keeler, the party girl who brought down the British government as that was her line.

On some faraway beach

1965 Nissan Silvia CSP311. Produced in tiny numbers and hand built, the first Datsun 1500 coupes were designed by Count Albrecht Goertz, a German/American who worked in Raymond Loewy's New York studio before setting out on his own. His main contribution in Japan was showing the stylists how to produce full sized clay models and this very pretty coupe was the outcome.

For: Oh come on. Its gorgeous.
Against: Not much that I can see.
Investment potential: 4/10. Look at the prices of other small run Japanese sports cars for comparative purposes.

Two times AR 213 equals what exactly?

Marking progress on the GTV with a short review. 

I was able at last to park the two Alfas side by side and consider the formal relationship between the generations. Italian styling DNA is evident as both designs are the work of Giorgetto Giugiaro, one a piece of juvenilia for Bertone when barely out of his teens and the other from his Ital Design high period during the mid-1970s.  So do they have anything in common?

The prominent belt line gives drama to both forms. In a strong metallic colour such as AR 213, this divides the car into unequal sections and minimises the height that comes from the saloon underpinnings.  This line blends into the nose in a similar way although the Alfetta's is disrupted by the flared front wheel arches, fading but then returning strongly as it approaches the tail. Early press pictures of the car accentuated this effect and the panels looked like folded paper although there is pronounced curvature in the form.

The older Bertone coupe performs wonders with its flat side glass, the body blending around the glasshouse with carefully detailed steps and flats. The Alfetta is more sophisticated with complex curved glass divided by black painted strips. Contemporary criticism was directed towards the side profile where the length of the glazed area seemed to overbalance the car. Viewed directly from the side this seems to be so but the earlier coupe was also long in the passenger cabin compared to the long nose, short tail profile preferred by contemporary British and American stylists.

 I realised while painting the car that the panel joins were a critical part of the way the visual effects worked. The major difference between the two cars is the way that the panels are blended in the older car and divided into separate planes on the other. The wide gaps around doors and rear hatch are also deliberate and less to do with sloppy production tolerances than Giugiaro's desire to show the graphics of the shell rather than sculpt it as with the earlier car, once memorably described as Baroque by Marcello Gandini.

While contemplating these details, I also attempted to decide which version of AR 213 Verde olivia metallizzato that I preferred. The colour on the Bertone car was clearly mixed with less black, appearing brighter and closer to the warmer end of the spectrum. It is cheerful and enhances the prettiness of the older coupe form. The more correct AR 213 on the Alfetta is almost military in its dullness and far less sparkly. This may be in the application but I doubt it.  I would have to say that a reversal of the two hues would not flatter either car and I am happy to live with the difference. Has a Brera ever been painted this colour, I wonder? If so, I must arrange another photo shoot in better surroundings.

Driving the two cars also accentuates the age gap between them, Although the Alfetta is dogged by a driveshaft that rattles your teeth and a gear lever like a bent coat hanger, the rest of the car is highly refined. The Bertone car bobs and weaves entertainingly and feels like it is going faster than it is while the more scientific GTV impresses with its precise placement on the road. The lengths the engineers at Arese went to in pursuit of 50/50 weight distribution is the root cause of the drive shaft problem as the clutch is housed in the rear axle and the long shaft rotates constantly at engine speed.  Engine noise levels are lower in the Alfetta that has an electric radiator fan. There is a similar Italian exhaust cackle that encourages lifting off on the over run and induction roar from the twin Dellortos is set at matching levels. The architecture of both engines is identical and the use of the old Alfa Romeo script on the cam covers reminds us that the design is now sixty years old. Both produce low range torque for confident getaways while enthusiastically exceeding their modest rev limitations.

The hooded instruments of the Bertone GTV are sublime compared to the slightly mad layout of the newer car although the 1970s decor is beginning to grow on me. It is tempting to replace the awful plastic wood of the Alfetta's modular dash that has all the charm of an MDF wall unit. At least the speedo has made its way in front of the driver rather than the first version of the car that flattered racing driver sensibilities by giving centre stage to the rev counter. There is height adjustment on the Alfetta driver's seat which is fortunate as the wheel is in your lap wherever you have it. The taller scuttle of the Bertone car leaves the wheel in a higher and more comfortable position while the more upright and curvaceous screen does not crowd the cabin even though the glass area is far less in the older car. The Alfetta's front seats are less orthopedic than the rigid Bertone items that offer great lumbar support but feel thin and under padded. Few passengers are ever happy in the rear of a GTV, whatever the model. The Alfetta offers a little more room and the seats are shapely enough for a short ride. Both sets of front seats feature the charming wind up headrest feature that enables rear seat travellers to fiddle with something on the trip. The segmented side glass is also more fun than the Bertone coupe's side hinged version. One of the pleasures of the Alfetta is the smooth action of the rear hatch that rises on a big central strut. The groom at last week's wedding hunted futilely for the Bertone boot release and looked at me like I was mad when I told him it was hidden in the left door pillar.

Now that I have the choice, I would use the Alfetta for long trips where the better ride and quieter cabin would win favour from driver and passenger. For a quick solo run up the North Road and over Mt Cargill, however, nothing but a 105 GTV would do.

The Aesthete looks for signs of life on Trade Me.

The Aesthete's Fleet
The Alfetta motored under its own power all the way to the workshop where the esteemed proprietor was up to his shoulders in a Citroen C6. I enquired about the driveshaft rumble but Al looked like he was thinking of a new use for a high pressure sphere so I slipped away. The car is at the auto electrician now where the fresh faced trainee is learning about The Earth Wire, theory and practice.

1967 Renault Caravelle. There is no point in providing a link to this one as it flashed across the Trade Me firmament like that exploding bolide earlier in the week. In fact I wondered if the bright light  was not overheating modems as buyers made their bids on this fine little French delicacy. The dealer who had it listed for a desultory price should be kicking himself across his yard with his pointed clown shoes.

For: Arrgghh!
Against: Bardot looks, Edith Piaf speed.
Investment potential: 18/10 at that price. Estúpido!

1969 Renault R10. You could always salve your disappointment at not buying the Caravelle and become smitten with its dumpy but enthusiastic saloon sister. This R10 has been sensitively modified and would be a hoot on track day where its overtaxed rear end could be just the sort of booty call you need to shake you from your lethargy.

For: Oddly proportioned French rear engined buzz box. What is not to like there?
Against: You will always be in love with the sister.
Investment potential: 1/10 but she is waiting for you to call, you callous sod.

1985 Lancia Beta Volumex. It sounds like this Beta coupe has got a bit beyond its current owner who seems bewildered by a minor fuel issue. The Volumex cars were a clever combination of fuel injection and mechanical supercharging so – when running at least – offer turbo-like performance but without the lag and rude flatulent noises. The rest of the car looks very pleasant so a weekend of tinkering may be fruitful.

For: Fast, refined and rust protected. Yes! Truly.
Against: You don't believe me, do you?
Investment potential: 3/10. These cars must become desirable soon.

1971 Lotus Europa S2. Staying with the Francophile theme, this Europa is presented in glossy black which would show any deficiencies in the fibreglass panels from 100 paces at night. It must be said that the Europa is a younger person's car so unless you are whippet thin with a dancer's hips, best buy yourself a big floppy American with electric swivelling seats.

For: It has opening windows. Early S1s did without with this luxurious excess.
Against: Its charms are revealed slowly.
Investment potential: These cars now seem cheap compared to the competition. Looked at any Porsche 912s recently?

1993 Subaru SVX. Subarus never sold as well as their Japanese competitors but that did not distract the engineers at Fuji Heavy Industries who marched to their own strange beat. The big flat six was unique to these coupes that also benefitted from styling by Giorgetto Giugiaro, then deep in his aircraft canopy mode. The slippery shape with partly framed glass was effective without the maddening inconvenience of gull wing or scissor doors. If you can tolerate the awful interior decor, these are oddly attractive cars.

For: Little appeal to the cap on backwards set.
Against: You may still be invited to do a burnout which the early computerised transmission will not allow.
Investment potential: 1/10 unless Need for Speed 17: Steal Dad's Keys features one.

On some faraway beach

1963 Zagato Zimp.You might expect the Aesthete to become loud and uncontrollable at the thought of owning a Zagato bodied prototype Hillman Imp, a doomed effort by the Italian firm to convince cunning old Lord Rootes that he needed an expensive, funny looking, hard to build Imp to add to his catalogue. As they say in the north, ah bless.

For: One of three and the only running example.
Against: Absolutely nothing. You hear me?
Investment potential: Without plausible limit in the Aesthete's view but you should not listen to him when he is like this.

The Aesthete's Prayer

Santa Giulia, intercede for the hopeless spellers
As we pray for those that cannot master declension
or recall their Latin conjugation.
Save them from the sin of promiscuous mixing of vowels
and improper use of the colon.


Giulia, Giulia, Giulia, Giulia, Giulia, Giulia
Giulietta, Giulietta, Giulietta, Giulietta, Giulietta
Giorgetto Giugiaro, Giorgetto Giugiaro, Giorgetto Giugiaro, Giorgetto Giugiaro

 

The Aesthete's auto-da-fé

Another disaster was narrowly averted in the shed when a stray welding spark ignited some thinner soaked rags by the side of the bench. Just how close the Aesthete was to total destruction could be seen by the molten plastic that was left after the blaze was quelled by a bucket of water. This is the third time the Aesthete's soul has almost been purified by fire so some divine agency is looking out for him. Santa Guilia da Corsica perhaps. Atonement was secured by lending the Alfa and Lancia for a wedding ceremony held high up in the wind swept hills overlooking Otago Harbour. The groom and his party gamely squeezed into the tiny cabins and were whisked upwards on gravel roads to a large barn where the happy act was carried out.  Best wishes then to Dunedin City Councillor Aaron Hawkins and the lovely Anya who was fashionably late for her own wedding and did not make it in to my photographs.

1955 Austin A90. What strange inverted logic it was to make the bigger six cylinder variants of British cars so hard to distinguish from their humdrum brethren. This A90 packs a mild wallop from its 2.6 litres and could motor along at a decent speed so driving one today would not mean that a man with a red flag had to walk ahead of you. And that duotone interior looks like quite a pleasant place to be.

For: Subfusc but quite charming nevertheless.
Against: A middling sort of car then and now.
Investment potential: 1/10. I have not noticed A90 Westminsters storming up the market rankings.

1955 Packard Clipper Super Panama Coupe. Close to being an ugly nose welded onto an old Studebaker body shell, Packard was struggling by the mid-1950s. You might not sense that looking at this elegant coupe, however, which was part of the mid range lineup intended to compete with Oldsmobiles and similar brands. Financial ruin followed naturally from this strategy. And look at the house in the background. Grwwllll.

For: Doomed but attractive. Like Veronica Lake.
Against: A car for history bores.
Investment potential: 3/10 but surely it will not sell for the current offer.

1960 MGA Coupe. Before the MGB GT came the fixed head coupe version of the slipper bodied MGA. You got winding windows and plumper seats along with the mini-XK Jaguar looks and as long as you don't mind not getting your hair mussed up or being rained on, it is a delightful way to travel. This one is equipped with an 1800 MGB upgrade so performance is part of the package.

For: Oh so pretty. And steel wheels too.
Against: You might as well have a Morris Minor I hear you say. Cynic.
Investment potential: 2/10. It may have to be better to reach the vendor's expectations.

1970 Ford Escort Twin Cam. Using the well known camshaft/value multiplying formula, that extra piece of turned metal has added about 40K to the price of this Escort so it will be interesting to see if the market agrees and rushes forward with its cash. Rarity and unsated demand suggests that his dreams will come to pass although we Latinophiles know that an Alfa GTV is a much nicer car for half the outlay.

For: Save us Santa Giulia!
Against: Nothing but blind prejudice.
Investment potential. 4/10 but inspect carefully for forgeries with these.

1958 Buick Riviera Special. The Aesthete is oddly susceptible to vehicles that look like a child's drawing of a car so this Riviera fits the bill exactly. Festooned with bling applied out of a brimming bucket of awfulness, this Buick marks either the zenith or nadir of American styling. Your attitude may depend on whether you appreciate the work of the wonderful illustrator Bruce McCall whose 1958 Bulgemobile is only a mildly exaggerated rendition of this, the real thing.

For: The neighbours will look at you differently.
Against: Arghh! My eyes are burning!
Investment potential. If the ugly multiplier worked like the camshaft one, 9/10

On some faraway beach...

1974 Alpine GT4 Dinalpin. A what's that again, I hear you ask? It is a stretched Alpine A110, the Renault hybrid that dominated international rallying in the 1960s. Those cars now fetch a Dauphin's ransom so this family friendly variant makes a lot of sense. They were assembled in France as well as Spain and Latin America with this one hailing from Mexico. Let us check the boxes. Oddly proportioned plastic bodied French rear engined buzz bomb that sold in minute numbers to an elite but informed clientele.

For: Oh come on. Look at its cute little face.
Against. No one will know what it is. No one.
Investment potential: In this benighted part of the world? Not great.

The Aesthete does his penance

I have paid for all my sins with a weekend of torment in the shed. The lack of soft trim parts for the Alfetta GTV has seen desperate efforts to reclaim waterlogged  door cards by peeling the heat formed vinyl trim off the rotten backing panels and gluing them to newly fashioned boards. This involved many trips into Mitre 10 as different ways of bonding the whole sorry mess were trialled and found wanting. Old fashioned pop rivets worked better than an expensive fibreglass repair kit as the Alfa trim pieces were coated in some sort of 'waterproof' substance that rejected all forms of glue and resin. Photographs will follow but after I have recovered from another bout of solvent abuse.

1967 Vanden Plas Princess 1100. The charm of these pompous little cars is enough to elide the fact that they were owned by terrible old tories, anyone with any sense being perfectly happy with an Austin. French polished burr walnut and 2cwt of sound deadening distracted from the parent car's many quirks and they still have an air of Cotswolds country retreats and willowy girls called Cynthia.

For: A sherry before dinner? Splendid.
Against: Riles the old Marxists but maybe that is a good thing.
Investment potential: 5/10. Yes, that is right.

1970 Renault 16 TS. The groundbreaking five door 16 created a new class of family car that could be used in as many ways as the driver desired. Extraordinarily composed on the road with a lively alloy engine as used in the Lotus Europa and a superb column shift, it was comfortable as only a French car can be. You can surprise those unfamiliar with the model by pointing out that car has two different wheelbases as the torsion bars for the rear suspension are offset. It could only be better if it was a TX with the square Cibie lights, tinted glass and sunroof. Grwwllll.

For: Characterful and elegant.
Against: Getting very rear now, as Tradme vendors are fond of saying.
Investment potential: 4/10 as 2K is a bit of a snip for what you are getting.

1955 Ford Thunderbird. Early Thunderbirds in right hand drive are unusual enough and this one looks like if has been used and enjoyed rather than being parked permanently in some collector's horde. The lack of latter day improvement extends to the six volt electrics, a Ford oddity that no doubt stems from that old fascist Henry not wanting to waste extra volts on the great unwashed.

For: The face that launched a thousand Ferraris.
Against: You can only have it if you use it.
Investment potential: 3/10. Undervalued now but no-one is rushing to buy this one.

1957 Daimler Century. This takes the Aesthete back to his youth when a weekend car buying expedition often concluded with the purchase of a moribund Daimler Century. Replacing broken second gear bands became something of a habit but they had 100 hp engines and a wonderful dashboard, and could usually be dragged away for less than $200. The brakes need attention on this one. A doddle as only the fronts were hydraulic, the rear end operated by ropes, wires and pulleys.

For: Does not look like it has been holding a collapsed shed up, as many were.
Against: Not a lot of information in the listing.
Investment potential: 2/10: It is a fair price if the rest of the car is a nice as the front.

1951 Pontiac Chieftain. Don't mess with Mr In-between is the Aesthete's rubric if you fancy an old American car but this tastefully modified Pontiac offers a modern driving experience with decent brakes and handling, matched to wholly innocent Driving Miss Daisy looks. The vendor seems like a sensible chap and, with two door Pontiac Chieftains lacking a fanatic following, clearly likes the car for what it does.

For: A cruiser that can take the bends.
Against: Quite a lot of money for something nobody particularly desires.
Investment potential: 1/10 but perhaps a good buy if you don't care about the image.

On some faraway beach...

1958 Alfa Romeo 1900 Super. Pause for a moment and join me in gloating over the details of tbis magnificent Alfa Romeo saloon. The company was still in post-war recovery and the 1900 marked a point where the bespoke glories of the 1930s were present in the new mass produced models. The image of the door pockets alone is enough to make me regret that I have wasted so much money on lesser cars over the years and will now be deprived of this.

For: A sports saloon in the real sense.
Against: I will hear nothing said against this car.
Investment potential: 0/10, sadly once you have got it here for the thick end of 80K.