The Aesthete pulls another five from Trademe

The Aesthete's Fleet

The older Bertone GTV has been put away for the winter in its dry lock up so now the Alfetta will have to be the daily driver again. It has been getting admiring comments from passers by recently so clearly the new wheels and front spoiler have done their work well and it is not that you see any others on the road. If you are in the mood, I am happy to collect compliments for all Alfas, past and present. 

The song this week is from the 1968 sound track I carry in my head from the first year that I owned a transistor radio. Johnny Rivers did not write many of his own hits but listen to the jangle when he hits the line about Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

1990 Volvo 480 ES. Bless the earnest boring Swedes and their safety sports cars. Not fast enough to cause any sort of risk to human life, the 480 ES was nonetheless fitted with US standard safety bumpers to ensure that it was unharmed at supermarket car park speeds. The interior was made from car salesman's shoes and the whole pointless thing was designed and made in Holland, the traditional home of high performance automobiles. I can just hear Alanis Morissette's Isn't It Ironic on the cassette player.

For: NOTHING!
Against: All together now in the back seat... It's like raaaiiin on your wedding day.
Investment potential: Oh well. The '90s are cool again so 2/10.

1965 Fiat Crusader. Wiley marketers decided that Crusader flowed off the monolingual local tongue more easily than Millecinquecento so Fiat's mid sized saloon was renamed and rebadged accordingly. Those lucky South Africans got an OTS version with over 100 HP but even without the tune up kit, the Fiat could stay ahead of anything in its class. How they ever sold a Hillman Minx when you could have one of these is one of life's enduring mysteries.

For: La dolce vita.
Against: Keep it in indoors if you can.
Investment potential: 10/10.

1974 Humber Sceptre. Speak of the devil. I know there are some out there who hold a torch for these old relics of the Empire. This one comes with a nicely veneered dash and green vinyl door trims in the style of Grinling Gibbons so you can feel superior to your Minx driving neighbours. It's a pity we don't do Tudor semidetached housing here so that the dream could be made complete.

For: Buffed up Mk 2 Cortina clone for those that like that sort of thing.
Against: I would rather be whipped by Lord Rootes, thank you.
Investment potential: 3/10

Escartus. Imagine that Giorgetto Giugiaro was born in Ngongataha and owned a panel beaters shop and you can better comprehend the Escartus. They were built in Napier in the early 1990s and were available as turn-key cars at a stupendous 52K. Powered by a Leyland P76 V8, the wedge styling almost held together until you got to the rear but the prototype induced nine buyers to open their wallets so who are we to cavil at 3K?

For: Kiwi ingenuity, number eight wire, can do attitude and all that dreadful nonsense.
Against: Ugly, fast and lethal. Or is that good?
Investment potential: Finish it and see.

Fiat Strada Abarth 130 TC. If snorting induction noise and torque steer make you happy, you owe it to yourself to experience a Fiat 130TC. Your rump will be clamped by the unforgiving racing seat while you sit up at the wheel like a startled baboon. The next thing that you will see is your surroundings passing by at speed, all set to a fantastic racket of howling engine note and tortured tyres.  Keep all solid obstacles to the side and you should be fine.

For: Last of its tribe? Must be getting close now.
Against: Its great. Buy it now.
Investment potential: 12/10

On some faraway beach...

1974  Volkswagen Karmann Ghia TC. Oh well, Giorgetto did not always get it right either. Here is his effort to restyle the VW Karmann Ghia for the Brazilian market  in 1970 where the bulbous lower flanks of the earlier car are blended with an anonymous fastback roofline for maximum awkwardness. It is all steel so one imagines that the car could have looked like anything he wanted.

For: Ummmm. I am thinking.
Against: No one will know what it is and may not care when you tell them.
Investment potential: Modest.