Things that make the Aesthete go rrnnngahh!

The Aesthete's Fleet

The GTV is at the paint shop now having had its wheel arch fixed in a surgical procedure they use on the TV show Botched to repair bad nose jobs. Large amounts of cosmetic filler were removed from the site and delicate tools and hammers used to reshape the profile into its correct Roman proportions. As my mother used to say about my own prominent honk,  "You have a Roman nose darling. It roams all over your face".

1962 Humber 80 Estate. Well, how many of these have you seen? This smart Humber 80 must be close to unique given that the brand name was only used here to capitalise on the Humber limousines that ferried various visiting regal personages and governors general around their little allotment in the South Pacific. It is just the sort of thing I imagine Betty Windsor would take to the grouse shoot and therefore much too good for anyone reading this blog.

For: For God's sake man, stand up straight and take your hat off.
Against: Nothing. Are you some sort of socialist?
Investment potential: 12/10.

1956 Triumph TR3. The obsession with 'barn finds' does not seem to have struck here in quite the frenzied way it has in other markets. This is because we are not at all surprised to see sports car wrecks in sheds in Balclutha, somehow knowing that is their natural habitat. This rough looking TR has been the victim of an amateur scratch over but little else seems to have disturbed its integrity. I would be tempted to brush paint it in red oxide roof paint and use it as it is.

For: The epitome of the trad British roadster.
Against: Imagine driving the Marquis de Sade's rack on a dirt road.
Investment potential: 10/10

1987 Porsche 944 Turbo. 12.5K to be able to travel at 260KPH is a cost to performance ratio that cannot be ignored by the savvy purchaser. This fact is pushing values up very slowly but the market seems to prefer virginal examples cosseted by Japanese motorists who have only driven them in Yokohama traffic jams. You may be able to do it in a twenty year old Toyota Supra but the Aesthete is washing his hair that day and will be unable to join you.

For: High miles but treated properly.
Against: Please let it not be a bag of Neckarsulm bolts.
Investment potential: Using the cos/perf ratio 9/10

1975 Triumph Dolomite Sprint. The Sprint version of Triumph's luxurious small saloon is another neglected gem produced in the senile fog of the 1970s British motor industry. Treated to a four valve head compromised by a single camshaft producing identical timing for both inlet and exhaust, the Sprint nonetheless gave trouble to BMW 2002s and Alfa GTAs, both of which now sell for an absolute fortune.

For: The vendor seems helpful.
Against: Ask him some questions but don't excite him.
Investment potential: Compared to a GTA, 47/10. In reality 8/10

1974 Fiat 128. Further evidence that Italy should have been the only nation in the world to be allowed to manufacture small family cars in the 1970s is this Fiat 128. So utterly superior to anything else, the driver could forget that they were driving in a child's drawing of a car and pretend it was a club racer. I was once driven around Birkenhead in one by Eric Brook, a car dealer who could have been played by Alec Guinness in a dramatisation of his life. Even though he had it on two wheels, I have never felt safer.

For: The best 128 in New Zealand, or perhaps the RHD world. I would doubt that there are 10 in the whole of the UK.
Against: I have said all I will say on this matter.
Investment potential: Quickly, get it in a container and off to Blighty. 23/10

On some faraway beach...

1952 Simca 8 Sport. The reader who occasionally corrects my spelling of Italian proper names will be busy with this listing that renders them phonetically as heard by a Floridan. I think he means to infer that this lovely Pininfarina Simca looks like an early Ferrari which it does. Simcas of this period were rather close to their Fiat forebears so this is indeed an inexpensive way to the concourse circuit, if that is what turns your crank.

For: If it was a Cisitalia it would be more than you could afford.
Against: Well, it's not, is it?
Investment potential: Simple to restore and potentially valuable. 9/10