The Aesthete looks for signs of life on Trade Me.

The Aesthete's Fleet
The Alfetta motored under its own power all the way to the workshop where the esteemed proprietor was up to his shoulders in a Citroen C6. I enquired about the driveshaft rumble but Al looked like he was thinking of a new use for a high pressure sphere so I slipped away. The car is at the auto electrician now where the fresh faced trainee is learning about The Earth Wire, theory and practice.

1967 Renault Caravelle. There is no point in providing a link to this one as it flashed across the Trade Me firmament like that exploding bolide earlier in the week. In fact I wondered if the bright light  was not overheating modems as buyers made their bids on this fine little French delicacy. The dealer who had it listed for a desultory price should be kicking himself across his yard with his pointed clown shoes.

For: Arrgghh!
Against: Bardot looks, Edith Piaf speed.
Investment potential: 18/10 at that price. Estúpido!

1969 Renault R10. You could always salve your disappointment at not buying the Caravelle and become smitten with its dumpy but enthusiastic saloon sister. This R10 has been sensitively modified and would be a hoot on track day where its overtaxed rear end could be just the sort of booty call you need to shake you from your lethargy.

For: Oddly proportioned French rear engined buzz box. What is not to like there?
Against: You will always be in love with the sister.
Investment potential: 1/10 but she is waiting for you to call, you callous sod.

1985 Lancia Beta Volumex. It sounds like this Beta coupe has got a bit beyond its current owner who seems bewildered by a minor fuel issue. The Volumex cars were a clever combination of fuel injection and mechanical supercharging so – when running at least – offer turbo-like performance but without the lag and rude flatulent noises. The rest of the car looks very pleasant so a weekend of tinkering may be fruitful.

For: Fast, refined and rust protected. Yes! Truly.
Against: You don't believe me, do you?
Investment potential: 3/10. These cars must become desirable soon.

1971 Lotus Europa S2. Staying with the Francophile theme, this Europa is presented in glossy black which would show any deficiencies in the fibreglass panels from 100 paces at night. It must be said that the Europa is a younger person's car so unless you are whippet thin with a dancer's hips, best buy yourself a big floppy American with electric swivelling seats.

For: It has opening windows. Early S1s did without with this luxurious excess.
Against: Its charms are revealed slowly.
Investment potential: These cars now seem cheap compared to the competition. Looked at any Porsche 912s recently?

1993 Subaru SVX. Subarus never sold as well as their Japanese competitors but that did not distract the engineers at Fuji Heavy Industries who marched to their own strange beat. The big flat six was unique to these coupes that also benefitted from styling by Giorgetto Giugiaro, then deep in his aircraft canopy mode. The slippery shape with partly framed glass was effective without the maddening inconvenience of gull wing or scissor doors. If you can tolerate the awful interior decor, these are oddly attractive cars.

For: Little appeal to the cap on backwards set.
Against: You may still be invited to do a burnout which the early computerised transmission will not allow.
Investment potential: 1/10 unless Need for Speed 17: Steal Dad's Keys features one.

On some faraway beach

1963 Zagato Zimp.You might expect the Aesthete to become loud and uncontrollable at the thought of owning a Zagato bodied prototype Hillman Imp, a doomed effort by the Italian firm to convince cunning old Lord Rootes that he needed an expensive, funny looking, hard to build Imp to add to his catalogue. As they say in the north, ah bless.

For: One of three and the only running example.
Against: Absolutely nothing. You hear me?
Investment potential: Without plausible limit in the Aesthete's view but you should not listen to him when he is like this.

The Aesthete's Prayer

Santa Giulia, intercede for the hopeless spellers
As we pray for those that cannot master declension
or recall their Latin conjugation.
Save them from the sin of promiscuous mixing of vowels
and improper use of the colon.


Giulia, Giulia, Giulia, Giulia, Giulia, Giulia
Giulietta, Giulietta, Giulietta, Giulietta, Giulietta
Giorgetto Giugiaro, Giorgetto Giugiaro, Giorgetto Giugiaro, Giorgetto Giugiaro