The Aesthete loses his mind

The Aesthete's Fleet

The Aesthete is subsiding into nervous exhaustion. Eerie sounds of grinding and hammering can be heard at all hours of day and night. A feverish degree of OCD is necessary to complete any sort of restoration and attention is now focused on welding up parts of the car that no-one will ever see.  Somehow, these still cause acute anxiety in the owner as 'he knows they are there.' Someone needs to give a name to this tragic condition. 

1961 Chevrolet Impala SS Coupe. No madly gurning monstrosity but the first step back to tastefulness captured in the next Buick Riviera and Oldsmobile Toronado. What are known as 'bubble top' cars possess slim pillared roofs with front and rear glass extending up into the roof surface. What our American friends call 'hood' and 'trunk' are of more or less equal length giving a forward leaning look. George Jetson would feel right at home behind the wheel and I imagine that electronic pinging sound instead of the heavy thump of a big V8.

For: The Aesthete finds himself in general alignment with fans of these 'in between' models.
Against: Behind the handsome looks it is business as usual in Detroit.
Investment potential: 1/10 only because there are relatively few about.

1965 Ford Zodiac Mk III. What could be said about the Impala could also apply to this Zodiac with its  four door coupe roof line achieved by taller front and rear screens with fully glazed sides and chromed pillars. This transformed the stolid looks of the standard Zephyr and the Aesthete is sometimes caught, head cocked at an enquiring angle, in rapture at the visual harmony of this simple effect. Is it worth paying a 10K premium over a lesser Z car? Probably.

For: An elegant bodgie. But get rid of all the extras.
Against: Not exactly a thrilling driving experience.
Investment potential: 2/10. These cars will reach a peak soon although I wish I had laid a couple aside when they were 5K.

1981 Austin Princess R. Seeking to capitalise on the snooty cachet of the old Vanden Plas Princess with a big chrome R on the boot lid was a cheap marketing ploy at best,  let down by the incidence of embarrassing roadside suspension collapses and the general air of desperation that clung to these cars. Even so, a good example in black is enough to remind you that they looked like they had come from a different planet, as evinced by the alien played by Rowan Atkinson on Not the Nine O'clock News tediously explaining that on his world the Austin Allegro had an oval steering wheel, not a square one.

For: I imagine hipsters and their wan looking girlfriends smiling indulgently over this.
Against: Okay to look at but then you might have to drive it.
Investment potential: If irony was convertible into money, 10/10

1967 Riley Kestrel. The wasted legacy of the galumphing BMC combine can be seen in this Riley variant of their highly popular front wheel drive small car. While no Fiat, they were nimble, comfortable and sharply clothed in one of Pininfarina's best shapes, vestigial fins and all. Both this and the two equally nice MGs of the same general type have been for sale on Trademe forever, suggesting that their manifest charms are lost on most of us.

For: I would paint a white stripe down the middle and have it on Minilite wheels. Grwwwll.
Against: Nothing. Really, someone please buy it.
Investment potential: 1/10. Clearly no way to riches.

1989 Ford Granada Ghia. What is this bedizened lump, I hear you ask. Just another misunderstood big car from Ford of Europe but probably the best one they had made up to that point. The German designed Granada was a big hatchback in the Rover SDI mould but they were rare in New Zealand due to the ready availability of Falcons. In dark blue with black leather, these were a bit of a knockout but the dull grey and cloth does this one few favours. Look past that and you have something interesting for 2K.

For: Far, far better than it looks.
Against: I told you I had lost my mind.
Investment potential: None but what is there to lose?

Zut allors!

1953 Panhard Dyna Junior.  The ideal combination of motorcycle and road car is condensed here into two air cooled cylinders and styling only Mme Panhard could have loved. The primitivist looks might have come from a cubist painter instructed to design a car while not looking at the paper, so far from the mainstream of automotive aesthetics does this reside. Needless to say it is perfect from its button nose to its reverse hung doors. And what on earth does that big lever marked Dyna do on the dash?

For: The Aesthete is writhing with desire. It is not a pretty sight.
Against: Rien du tout.
Investment potential: 3/10. All other potential buyers are already having their affairs managed so probably not great.