The Aesthete goes looking for a tow car

A friend is looking for a Ford Zephyr Mk 3 with which to tow her 1972 Zephyr caravan. I admit there is a certain pleasing symmetry there but steep asking prices for respectable cars is making the search fruitless. Always willing to help, the Aesthete's patented Trademe search algorithm has been reset to medium scale, rear wheel drive and sufficient power to pull a sailor off your sister. Let us see what that throws up...

Rover 3-Litre Coupe. The main considerations when towing a caravan are that you receive the right envious looks when on the road and are refreshed when arriving at your destination. Even hippies in tents will smile benignly when you draw up in your elegant combination, thinking perhaps the Queen has become bored with Balmoral and has chosen Akaroa instead for her summer hol's. Automatic transmission and a good hefty towbar suggest this lovely Rover has been used for a similar purpose in the past.

For: Oh come on. Look at it.
Against: Big and complex compared to a Mk 3.
Investment potential: 4/10. Bentley quality at a Ford price.

1964 Mercury Montclair Breezeway. Zephyr caravans had a distinctive forward lean to the side profile so what better than a Mercury with a retractable reverse angle rear window, one of those distracting novelties that caused other drivers to veer off the turnpike as they craned their necks to look. The wheel is on the wrong side and it needs a towbar but these are mere trifles compared to the practicality of an electrically powered rear window.

For: The vendor vouches for the low milage so lots of life left in it yet.
Against: You will need to be clever at spotting gas stations with a 390 cubic inch V8.
Investment potential: 2/10. A big American with character.

1971 Austin 3-Litre. Yes, I know these cars were mad, sad and doomed but surely this is the purpose they were made for? The weight of the caravan will disguise the plodding performance and give the self leveling rear suspension something to level while you waft along in great comfort fiddling with the controls on the modernist walnut sideboard cum-dashboard.

For: Enough power to tow a caravan if not much left in reserve.
Against: Oh, a great many things I am sure.
Investment potential: 1/10. They are very rare in England I believe. Why are we not sending them back?

1973 Toyota Crown. Being a perverse type I have always liked the Baroque styling of this Toyota Crown, particularly in the early body coloured bumper form as featured here. The plush red interior looks most inviting and they are more wieldy than you might imagine – compared to a VH Valiant anyway. You will not be testing the chassis dynamics while towing your load so the wooly steering and floaty suspension will pass unnoticed.

For:  After pandering to the Americans for years, Toyota goes it alone.
Against: People will think the yakuza hit squad has arrived at the camping ground.
Investment potential: 3/10. See comment on the Austin 3-Litre and substitute Japan.

1984 Jaguar XJS. The late and brilliant engineer Ralph Thompson, maker of the streamlined caravan in the Toitu Otago Settlers Museum collection, used an XJS to tow it around the South Island and was always guaranteed an appreciative crowd when they purred to a halt somewhere. The low milage on this car suggests that the TLC needed will be a result of lengthy periods standing so get your mechanic to check all the fuel lines. You don't want to draw a crowd for the wrong reasons.

For: I tip my hat to Ralph, one of the most tasteful men I have ever met.
Against: Best not try and caculate the petrol money.
Investment potential: 2/10. The best value big GT of them all continues its slide.




From the other side...

Well, its right here actually and Wonderboy spotted it last week. Fully restored and once the property of car and bike racer Mike Hailwood, this Citroen SM is what the Aesthete would take camping. Except there would be no camping, just high speed motoring from one luxury lodge to the next. No sand in the egg sandwiches and damp sleeping bags for this boy.