The Aesthete makes the best of it

The Aesthete's Fleet

Even the Aesthete's polymorphously perverse taste is challenged in times like this. A good week would produce a home-built alloy bodied special, an obscure Italian or German rear engined buzz box in coupe form, a blobby behemoth of American origin, an over technologised saloon that nobody likes and a two stroke. Oh well, we do the best with the material supplied...

Today, the Lancia started with the sort of sound I imagine you would hear in Hell. It was an agonised metallic shrieking accompanied by loud chuffing and thumping, accompanied by a violent shaking from side to side. In deciding to run on two cylinders only, and on one side to boot, it managed to shake its fan shroud loose into the path of the cast alloy four bladed fan that functions like Satan's kitchen whiz. 

1960 Dodge Pioneer. Okay, here is your behemoth for the week. Big American wagons are endlessly interesting, particularly as your eye travels to the rear. There, all the wicked genius of the styling studio is put to getting the rear side glass around the back corner and safely out of the way of ray gun tail lights, fighter plane tail fins and three way opening tail gates.  It is visual poetry I tell you.

For: Oh, that rear end, definitely.
Against: Sorry. It is a stupid price.
Investment potential: -2/10

1958 BMW 502 V8. Germany is the natural home of the ultimate OTS (over technologised saloon). You would think with the coupe and convertible versions heading for a million dollars and collector's store rooms that the gracious BMW 502 saloons would generate more interest. Essentially bespoke in terms of production numbers and quality, many have fallen to provide parts for the sports cars. The globular looks have aged pleasantly and imagine what you would pay if it was French!

For: Patina and not even fully derelict.
Against: You would need to adjust to the appearance.
Investment potential: 3/10 Surely a good one must be worth something?

1991 Lotus Elan M100. Home built special? No, not quite but rather Lotus' doomed effort to produce a well mannered sports car alongside the mass market MG/Rover TF. Unlike the mid engined competition, the Lotus is front wheel drive and the dynamics are some way distant of the original plastic Emma Peel wonder machine.  No Lotus lacks character of course but the character here is oddly Oriental and ordinary.

For: You will not see many others.
Against: No-one will know what it is.
Investment potential: 0/10. Sorry again. 25K is silly.

1996 BMW 850 CI. Rather like the unloved Porsche 928, sellers are keen to convince us that these big and powerful BMW coupes are some sort of 'collectors car'. The Aesthete demurs as there appears to be no obvious market for them which, of course, makes them desperately attractive. This logic bypass might allow one to overlook the terrifying service bills, metric tyres at 1K a corner and other mild drawbacks of ownership.

For: Better than a Ferrari 455 and prices declining to our level.
Against: The mild drawbacks may ruin you.
Investment potential: Have I not made myself clear?

1966 Vauxhall VX4/90.  In my childhood I was able to spot the earlier VX4/90 models by their cathedral shaped tail lights and all sightings were duly logged in the back of the Observers Book of Automobiles that accompanied me on road trips with my parents. This later car has a swish interior at a time when bucket REAR seats meant something.

For: Forget the outside, inside is where the party is. Grwwllll.
Against. I suppose you will have to drive it.
Investment potential. 3/10. The ultimate anorak's car.

Rear engined Italian buzz bomb of the week

1969 Lombardi Grand Prix. Fitted with what must be the best instrument pod ever put into a car, the Lombardi Grand Prix is the peak of the Fiat 850 race. This extremely rare Abarth tuned right hand drive example is restored to a high level and is waiting in Sydney for you to fork over a modest amount of money. The story of its production involved shady deals and deaths so you will be able to bore everyone stupid at the next Italian car day.

For: Oh, come on.
Against: Nulla!
Investment potential: 2/10 Probably peak money for one of these but there is a following.