The Aesthete tries a bit of everything off the Trademe smorgasbord

1969 Lincoln Continental Mk III. 1969 was getting towards the end of the last golden era for American automotive design which underwent an awful lingering death as the supply of cheap oil from the Middle East was cut off. Garish nose to one side, this delectable Lincoln would still look inviting outside the Casino at Monte Carlo and that is all that really matters if you are thinking of investing in a motorised bordello. You have to admit it has a certain louche charm.

For: Primrose yellow and 460 cubic inches. I feel weak with desire.
Against: People will assume you live off immoral earnings.
Investment potential: 2/10. The oil really will run out one day you know.

Morris J4 Camper. The vendor wants to swap it for a Playstation so here is your chance to take over the completion of a stylish camper conversion on a Morris J4 chassis. Sadly, it looks like it has run into something that has flattened out its already retroussé nose but if you are handy with a hammer I am sure you can put it right. You get the fridge thrown in with the purchase price, I would say.

For: We like a challenge.
Against: Your neighbours will get up a petition.
Investment potential: 3/10 if you get it for 40 dollars or less.

1958 Jaguar 3.4 Litre Saloon. I refuse to call these excellent cars Mk Is as they were never named that in period. Someone has gone doolally with the louvre cutting machine and the lurid metallic hue is all wrong but you could easily blow a flat coat of British Racing Green over it and dechrome the wire wheels for a quick Hawthorne replica. Grwwlll.

For: A good car on the way to being a great one.
Against: It is a lot to pay if you need to undo the mods.
Investment potential: On that basis, 0/10

1990 Volkswagen Corrado. As the vendor points out, you do not get to see too many of these in New Zealand although they sold well enough in Europe. This one has been hit with the contents of a tuning shop but the owner sounds like he knows what he is doing so the effect should be impressive on the road.

For: A German GTV.
Against: Breakdowns could be anticipated.
Investment potential: 2/10. A limited market here but it is attracting bids.

1979 Fiat 131R. My sortie to the hillclimb the other weekend set me thinking what I would like to drive at such an event. Unsurprisingly. the answer is an wildly tuned Italian saloon with the wind cheating properties of a municipal administration block. It all looks well prepared and I advise spectators to find a large tree to stand behind should I take the plunge.

For: They will laugh before they jump for their lives.
Against: Fastest Time of the Day will not be easy, sadly.
Investment potential: 2/10. It is a lot of money for a toy.

Right on our doorstep...

1971 Austin 3 Litre. No need to arrange a shipping container for this as it is here in New Zealand. Now, all we need is a chapter of the Young Conservative's Positive Action League that wants a suitable car to ferry bewildered Remuera voters to the polling booths come next election. You want to help that nice Mr Key, don't you?

For: The security forces will leave you alone if you drive one of these.
Against: Yemen seems positively attractive to me now.
Investment potential: 2/10. There will always be one...