The Aesthete's autumn almanac

The Aesthete's fleet

The GTV has been delivered to the panel beaters where its various skin eruptions are being attended to in the hope of forestalling a full blown rust attack. I was impressed by Mike Whelan's work on the other well known aesthete's Daimler Majestic whose magnificent face (the car, not the owner) had gathered some gin blossoms over the years. These were cleverly blended into the gentle decrepitude of the rest of the car so that it did not look like a full face lift. A clever feat and one that I hope is repeatable on the Alfa.

1962 Ford Consul Capri. It is well known that stylist Roy Brown took exile to Dagenham rather than face career death for the Edsel. He still managed to have some fun with the product planners with the Consul 315 Capri which was like an English Thunderbird with a barely usable back seat and a boot lid longer than the bonnet. My favorite aunt Sylvia – Papakura's version of Ana Gardner – had one the same colour as this. Believe me, there was no-one in the family more glamorous than she.

For: The looks. Oh, the looks.
Against: A less practical version of the worst English Ford of the era.
Investment potential: 6/10. Dwindling numbers and great period charm.

1947 Ford Pilot. Another glam English Ford but from a different era altogether. The Pilot was a revived small V8 Ford conceived in the 1930s. It was sufficiently modern to make it into production after the war and its silky side valve engine and Art Deco interior made it an attractive alternative to a big Humber or similar trans-Atlantic confection.

For: Surprisingly quick.
Against: Nasty retrim in the wrong materials
Investment potential: 3/10. Not everyone will get it

1985 Renault Fuego Turbo. Glam is in the eye of the beholder of course but there can be no doubt about Renault's sporting coupe, once much desired by Auckland girls who made their living from lovelorn men. Like their owners, the cars were pretty, fast and efficient with a faint hint of Fleur cigarette smoke still hanging around the interior.

For: If you are nostalgic for that benighted era, here is your car.
Against: Only a few wrecks left for parts these days.
Investment potential: 6/10. Like the Capri in that regard.

1970 Alfa Romeo 1300 GT Junior. The crafty Milanese managed to get great value out of their Bertone coupes, selling them in a bewildering variety of engine sizes and equipment levels. Even the smallest was capable of 100mph performance and this one carries the big bumpers and distinctive step nose of the earlier Sprints. You get the four wheel discs and five speeds for no extra moolah. Where else but Italy?

For: Bella!
Against: Pricey!
Investment potential: 2/10: In saying so, unrusted and well sorted GTs have a way to go yet.

1963 Ford Falcon Squire. Calling it a 'woodie' is a bit of a stretch but 'plastic-ie' does not have quite the same ring. This upmarket Falcon wagon carries its carefully applied stick-on cupboard lining in an attempt to summon up the older coach built wagons much loved by fans of the Beach Boys. Are we fooled? Not for a second and therein lies the charm.

For: Yet more glam!
Against: Egregious fakery!
Investment potential: 3/10, Catch it before it gets any worse.


Oh save me Lord, I am but a weak and feeble sinner...

1967 Maserati Mexico. Why does a wrecked Maserati Mexico fill me with such terrible thoughts? It is a kind of sick compulsion that can only lead to ruin of the body and spirit but I just can't stop looking! UNGHHHRGHAH! Nope. Still can't stop.

For: Its a 1960s Maserati I could afford!
Against: It will kill me!
Investment potential. Bwahahaha!