Five from the bottom of the barrel

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

It has been a bit dull recently but Trade Me regularly coughs up five new cars every week and shows no signs of failing me so on we go. I was one of the few to drive to Naseby for their annual car show on the weekend. It snowed and everyone stayed away. Sissies. I met up with my old Alfa mending friend Eric Swinbourne and Michael Wyatt came down from Queenstown in his Maserati Ghibli, enabling me to take this photo in Dunback. What's the song? How could it be any other than Joe Walsh's meditation on the pitfalls of stardom. Southern Comfort is the drink. Candy is the name.

1956 Chevrolet Camper. I had to follow a Britz van up the hill away from Port Chalmers today. I am sure they would have pulled over if they could have seen the size of the gun I was waving around but they chose to make tea in the back as they crept up over Mt Cargill. This looks like it could get out of its own way and would be great fun if you could sustain the petrol bill. For: My idea of a holiday. Against: Let's hope they do find oil off the coast.

1962 Daimler Dart. What was the Daimler board thinking in their last days? Getting the junior clerk to style their sports car was just one of a catalogue errors that led to them being snatched up by Jaguar. The Dart's looks have become easier on the eye over the years and then there is the delight of Edward Turner's alloy V8 which contains aircraft quality materials and almost turns an ugly duckling into a swan. For: You can't see it when you are driving it. Against: Look away!

1968 Lotus Elan +2. You can tell if a car has been well styled if colour makes little difference. Colour makes all the difference with these Elans so the bright red is unfortunate, accentuating the cuttlefish lines. The car itself has been treated to a new chassis and needs only a light tidy up so the price is entirely reasonable. For: A good one would be a pleasure to own. Against: A bad one though...

1970 Volkswagen Type 181. This must be the next best thing to the Mini Mokes in the The Prisoner for conveying whimsy and slight mental instability simultaneously. I would drive it with pride around Wanaka and receive many admiring looks as I did so. For: Based on a Beetle so tough as nails. Against: You may laugh but then you have to drive the thing.

1986 Ford Sierra Cosworth. You will have to do your homework here as this low milage Cosworth is either a bargain or a monstrous fraud. If it stacks up someone should really buy it to have one of the great track cars of the '80s to use sparingly when occasion demands. For: No traction control, no ABS. Whohoo! It's the 1980s. Against. You might want those things on a wet day.