The last five for the year

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

The end of the year has come around and I will take a break from the Petrolhead Aesthete while Trade Me gathers its strength after the Xmas spending orgy. I predict interesting cars will come on the market when the season's credit card bills start landing in mailboxes so we will return in early January to see.  

All the best for the coming year and I wish you enjoyable motoring with no breakdowns, either emotional or mechanical. Oh, and the song? A skittish live version of Mr Davies finest three minutes. Remember to raise a glass of Christmas stout to Terry and Julie. 

1954 Alvis TC21/100. The big Alvis saloons were a combination of left over pre-war elements that managed to be much better than they needed to be in the car starved early 1950s. Usually on wire wheels, the TC21/100 'Grey Lady' variant carried a tuned version of the three-litre six and would see the golden figure of 100 mph. 12K is very reasonable although the vendor is refreshingly frank about its faults. For: Pre-war looks with good road manners. Against: Needs expensive attention to the body.

Fiat 600D. Alright, I know you are not professional race car engineers but imagine the fun you could have with this. The shell has been adapted for a wide variety of propulsion and the vendor has many helpful suggestions, any of which could result in a truly frightening outcome. For: Go on. Give yourself a thrill. Against: You have to finish it.

1971 Sunbeam Rapier. The Rootes Group designers faced a similar situation to that highlighted by the Plymouth Satellite in last week's list. A coupe on a saloon wheelbase with a high scuttle is always going to look awkward (unless you are Batista Pininfarina) but the Alpine/Rapier managed to look sporty and not bankrupt the maker. This is possibly the best one available and therefore the only one I would counsel you to buy. For: A 'Life On Mars' experience. Against: A Hillman Hunter lurks beneath.

1972 Volkswagen Porsche 914. The rationalist aesthetic of the mid-engined 914 has aged well over time, overcoming some of the prejudice and wonky marketing that limited its success in the 1970s. It has always struck me as an engineers' car due to the minimalist details and reliable mechanicals. Never a common site in New Zealand, a 914 is the thinking driver's MGB. For: As the young people say, a very cool car. Against: Not much.

1990 Porsche 928 S4. For not much more money, you could be driving the most undervalued GT on the planet. With ageless looks, indestructible mechanicals and the benefits of carefully honed development from Porsche engineers, the 928 is the best way ever devised to traverse long distances on land. For: One fifth the cost of a contemporary Ferrari. better looking and reliable. Against: Pick a good one. Bad ones are valueless.

Slim Pickens

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

The great Johnny Cash's paean to initiative and workplace theft. 

1966 Plymouth Barracuda. Chrysler had little in the bag when Ford created an instant market phenomenon with the Mustang, hence this rather awkward looking fastback coupe. The front end is familiar to us through the Australian Valiant but the rear belongs to the Barracuda alone. I like gawky looks so this one wins the Miss Personality award for any pony car built in 1966. For: That back window. Grrr. Against: You would really have to want one to hand over 40K.

1966 Van Den Plas Princess. The well known aesthete has been warming his garage to receive one of these. You could argue that the engine swap has improved matters by removing the awful power plant developed by Rolls Royce for a failed military contract. It could not deliver even its modest output reliably so it was a cruel trick to palm them off onto gullible retired civil servants, surely the only market for such a thing. For: That requires more thought that I can give it. Against: Sorry, you have to have one with the naff motor. Otherwise it's cheating.

1972 Mini Moke. If you really want a car for days when all your cares are left behind you in a toweling bag, here is the ideal vehicle. Fun for young and old and just the thing for getting passengers safely home after one of your ever-popular beach front drinking orgies. Just tip it on its side and hose it out. For: Its a Mini so you will always have parts. Against: It needs a fringed top and whicker seats.

1982 Fiat Mirafiori 131R. An acquired taste, I grant you but nobody did a better flying pet cage than Fiat. Snorting twin side-draft Webers, noisy gearboxes and hilarious cabin velour combines into a hallucinatory driving experience that is the antithesis of anything remotely tasteful from any non-Italian competitor. Cortina GTE? Pfaff. For: Look at all those wheels! Its like a Fiat half-track. Against: Not for you passive- aggressive types.

1983 Jeep J20 Wagon. There was a time when Jeeps were driven by rough spoken men who lived in one roomed shacks with dogs. Therefore this Jeep wagon harks back to the golden age before power windows and air conditioning and all those other things that make contemporary motoring so rottenly pleasurable. For: Meet the coming Apocalypse in style. Against: You may lose some friends.

Five for the Xmas stocking

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

A rambunctious pearl from Mr Stewart's yellow satin trews period.

1963 Chrysler Imperial Southampton Coupe. The vendor insists this is a 40K car but could only demonstrate that by selling it so wait and see. The early 1960s Imperial coupes are definitely the aesthete's choice of big Americans. Far less obvious than a Cadillac or Lincoln and fitted with gorgeous interiors, they are also well priced when the vendor choses to listen to sense. For: A Grace Kelly kind of car. Against: You would need a Jimmy Stewart kind of car to keep it company. An XK 120 maybe.

1967 Bond Equipe GT. The Bond Equipe was essentially a fastback Herald along the lines of the Harrington Alpine. A fibreglass roof and boot was laminated onto the Triumph lower body panels producing a roomy and practical sports coupe. This one has had an odd retroussé nose job at some point which would make it stand out from the small number of survivors. For: Cute tail though. Against: You may wish to scour the globe for a replacement bonnet if you are a perfectionist.

1971 NSU Ro80. I have long wanted a good Ro80 and this is probably the best in New Zealand. It was the in-house product of a small German company that pointed the way for Audi to follow twenty years later. Unreliable rotor seals have long since been re-engineered so the car's one weak point is no longer a major one. Spirited bidding suggests a ready market and if I had not spent so much on the Lancia, I would make it mine. For: A landmark. Against: Not to be taken for granted.

1989 Lancia Delta HF Integrale. Look past the gruesome interior decor to a genuine rally performer that will make every trip to the shops for milk seem like a tarmac stage in Tuscany. In handsome dark metallic grey rather than ubiquitous Rosso Corsa, this looks like a tidy original car offered at a considerable discount over the 25K that seems to be the norm. For: A 210+ hp 4wd Guigiaro designed paper bag. Against: Nothing.

1989 Fiat Tipo Sedicivalvole. For a further trifling sum you could park the Integrale next to its Fiat stable-mate. They use the same 16-valve engine to power the big Thema saloon which was a treat on a wet road so the lighter Tipo shell enables sufficient lurid torque steer to wake the dead. For: Cheap fast thrills. Against: Not for you quiet and retiring types.

Five to bring in Summer

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

Something for summer from the bulging vault of thin-wristed British radio pop. No cars or drinking in this one. Just flutes.

1939 Ford V8 motor caravan. Those that know me know that I am a fool for streamline caravans so I almost fell into a deep swoon when this appeared. It looks to be the genuine article and would form the ultimate riposte to the Winnebago crowd. If it still on its original drums, the descent into Dunedin would be quite something. For: Make a splash at the camping ground. Against: Needs further development.

1966 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Coupe. If you are frightened of that Oldsmobile Toronado I keep shoving at you, perhaps the more conservatively engineered Delta 88 would suit you better. It is effectively a restyled Impala and has the same handsome swept roof line but a wilder dash with divided instrument pod. For: Not your everyday Chevrolet. Against: Be brave. Buy the red Toronado.

1967 Jaguar 420. These esoteric Jaguars do not normally impress the Aesthete but the combination of black bodywork and rare manual gearbox along with the sensible price demands I pay it some attention. The last and fastest of the MkII line, the 420 is the sleeper in the range. If it was gun metal grey on wire wheels and had a red interior it would probably fetch twice the asking price. For: A very capable car. Against: No great following, sadly.

1970 Morris 1800 MkII. The 1800 marked the apogee of Alec Issigonis' one man reign over the BMC product line. It was the last time any individual could impose his will over a large motor car manufacturer and you either liked them or you didn't. More cabin room than a Silver Shadow apparently, and almost as comfortable with pillow soft hydrolastic suspension.  For: Individualistic. Against: You could get a Shadow for the same money so you choose.

1981 Rover SDI 3500. What is this doing here, besmirching the Aesthete's carefully curated selection? Early SDIs must be ready to cross over soon. They can be spotted rusting away in large groups under trees as bearded hoarders in flannel shirts do their best to acquire them all and ruin them. Buy a low milage good one like this and save a decent car. For: Ferrari looks on a zero budget. Against: Having people say "My neighbour/boss/uncle had one of them new. Dreadful it was."

Five toots on the horn of plenty

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

Has Trade Me turned into a cornucopia? Not really although it did provide me with a 2001 Saab 9.5 for a sliver over 2K to inspect for a student. It is hard to believe what happens to the residuals in a luxury car, particularly if the maker is careless enough to go out of business. Once they get that cheap you can use them until something expensive happens and walk away, leaving the keys in the lock.

I will leave you to guess what would carry the plate CPL5938. 

1948 Armstrong Siddeley Hurricane 18hp. Armstrong Siddeley was among the first British makers to get back into production after the war with models named after the company's combat planes. While flush with money at the start, they could not design a car anyone wanted by the end of the following decade. The Hurricane was a decent tourer in larger engined form and was almost all alloy so, while not a lightweight, will keep up with modern traffic. For: Chiseled looks. Against: A relic of finer times.

1956 Buick Special. I base my choice of 1950s Americana on what Hergé would have drawn in a Tin Tin strip and I think the dear old Nazi sympathiser  would have liked this four door pillarless example. The colours and strong lines would look great on low quality paper. What better reason to buy? For: Looks good for the money. Against: You will be expected to like other things from the general era.

1967 Volvo P1800. The Volvo P1800 came from the studio of Pietro Frua and so carries the rocket ship styling traits of that exuberant carrosserie. Underneath the swooping lines is Volvo's Amazon saloon so you get the best of both worlds. It turns out the styling was by Swede Pelle Pettersen who designed the Maxi class sail boat. This model was built in England by Jensen, all the Italian ones having fallen apart shortly after sale. For: One of the best dashboards ever. Against: Aunty Amazon in a thong.

1969 Alfa Romeo GTV 1750. You do not see these being offered for this sort of money nowadays so questions must be asked. The vendor does not seem to be answering any so it may be a take it or leave it proposition. The series 1 1750 has the desirable but uncomfortable flying buttress seats and dainty front indicators perched on the bumper so are nicely distinguishable from later models. For: Many say the best of the Guilia coupes. Against: Inspect carefully.

1974 Renault R17 Gordini. Our friend in Kelston with the Fiat 130 and various NSUs is having a right old purge and is now offering a Renault coupe in desirable Gordini trim for $300. Go on – I dare you. For: Fortune smiles on the brave. Against: You have to fix it, not leave it under a fraying cover in the drive.

Five for the adventurous spirit

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs
I have been a bit slack on the songs recently but have put some effort into this week's selection which comes from the ever fertile mind of Brian Eno. Four turkeys in a big black car indeed.

1935 Hupmobile 531D. Normally I can flick through the boring 1930s ironware on offer on Trade Me but occasionally something stops me in my tracks. The brothers Hupp built stylish cars in Detroit designed by Raymond Loewy, hence the cleverly faired in headlights and trim lines. These cars are nothing special underneath but a great alternative to a Chevrolet or Buick. And they are all around the same price so you might as well have something interesting. For: The looks, mainly. Against: You cannot pop down to the Huppmobile agency for parts.

1947 Austin Sheerline. I hope this will inflame the desires of the other well known aesthete who is no doubt striding back and forth in his living room racked with envy that this prize will be plucked by a baseball cap wearing person from Green Island who will make a rat rod out of it. Save the Sheerline I urge you! For: Mad and wonderful. Against: The magenta paint and interior is half way to rat rod already.

1951 Sunbeam Talbot 90. A surprising number of these handsome cars have survived in New Zealand despite a tendency to rust spectacularly. Basically a Humber Hawk with a stretched pre-war Sunbeam Talbot 10 body freshened up by the Loewy studio (see above), they were campaigned on the rally circuit to great effect. They are surprising fun on the road now with abundant torque and decent open road performance. For: One of the best things from Blighty in its day. Against: Cramped. Ed Hillary had one and I cannot see how he drove it.

1957 Jaguar 3.4 Litre Saloon. There are a few of these fine vehicles for sale on Trade Me but mostly beyond economic restoration. This looks like a solid one and could either be a pleasant road car or a track day terror using the vendor's offer of a race tuned engine. Desultory bids so far and already at reserve. For: Relive the racing fifties. Against: Without the driving into a tree part.

1967 NSU Spider. The vendor does not have any pictures yet so I have supplied one of my own. From the same West Auckland stable of queer cars as the Fiat 130 and Lancia Fulvia comes a real piece of technical exotica in the form of a rear engined Wankel sports car styled by Franco Scaglione at Bertone and built in Germany. It was the first rotary powered production car although doubling the power output of the little NSU Prinz stretched the capabilities of the chassis somewhat. For: Lovely and strange. Against: Also fragile.

Five to tickle the aesthete's fancy

Cars, girls' names, cocktails and songs

Trade Me has lurched back to life in recent days giving me hope that a flood of peculiar motorcars will soon issue forth. One vendor is tantalising me with the threat to sell an NSU Ro 80 but I have listed his equally terrifying Fiat 130 in the meantime. These are cars to make the Aesthete tremble and shake with barely suppressed desire so watch this column for future developments.

Oh yes, the song. I am not sure if any of you are bothering to listen but I regard the perusing of queer old cars while listening to pop obscurities to be like coffee and cake – things that are meant to go together. Take a little trip with Eric Burden on a funky groove that belies the thirty eight years that have passed since it was recorded.

1970 Bond Equipe GT. The Bond Equipe was an elegant fibreglass bodied coupe built on a Triumph Vitesse chassis. Early models used the Herald's doors and scuttle resulting in unfortunate proportions but the replacement was all new and only marred by the small wheels of the parent car.  The two-litre six gives solid performance and there is a lot more room than you will find in a GT6. For: Clever, fun and cheap. Against: Can be nasty if neglected.

1971 Lancia Fulvia Rallye 1.3S. Ignore what are possibly the worst vendor pics in Trade Me history and dwell instead on one of the best small sporting cars ever made. The Fulvia offered both refinement and performance in a factory designed coupe body. This low head light version is a good pick within the complex range and is New Zealand new. For: Do you want me to say all that again? Against: If the vendor says it is rusty proceed with caution.

1975 Fiat 130. Don't snigger but consider for a moment what Fiat had to do to compete with Mercedes and BMW in the 1970s. The production of formal Lancia saloons stopped with the Flaminia and Fiat was left to provide something with suitable gravitas to take its place. The 130 may look like a scaled up 125 but it was powered by a silky V6 and fitted out to a very high standard. There has been nothing like it in the Fiat range since. This is the final 3.2 litre version for added autostrada capability. For: Italian gentleman's express. Against: Fist sized holes. Everywhere.

1981 Austin Princess 2 HL. Okay, you can laugh now. The Princess was launched to great fanfare to replace Alec Issigonis' idiosyncratic 1800 and its space age looks carried great expectations. Unfortunately the workers entrusted to put them together were from another era altogether and the tawdry cabin decor added to the general level of failed ambition. This model has the much improved OHC motor and the auto box actually suits it. For: Buy one for Blighty. Against: Too much to go into here really.

1985 Alfa Romeo GTV6. Another considerable essay in wedge architecture, the Alfetta derived GTV6 packaged the rear mounted transaxle with the new V6 produced for the doomed luxury Alfa Romeo 90 saloon. Unspeakable adversity was thus turned into triumph and owners thrilled to a car that could finally perform like it looked. This example comes in fully loaded specification from Canada and has a desirable leather interior. Va va voom. For: Pretty. Goes fast. Against: Lengthy storage can cause issues.